Dear Abby: My husband and I used to play in a band together. He played the guitar and I sang. His band now has another female singer, and I can't contain my emotions. At first, he was invited by an existing band that she was already a part of, which he accepted. But then that band disbanded and reformed, but he kept the girl in the band. He knows how much I wanted to sing again. We tried endlessly to get us back together as a duo or a starter band, but getting him to work with us was like pulling teeth.
I was a singer both before and after him, but he never told me the truth about why he didn't want to perform with him again. This affected my confidence so much that I practically gave up singing. I'm really shocked that I had to give up my artistic identity because of this. The problem is, he's just a local player. This is not an important time. He reached his prime many years ago, and she is mediocre. They have no followers, no crowds lining up to see them.
He needed confidence and I've tried to be supportive. But I'm like two people – a supportive wife and a manipulative green-eyed monster. To add insult to injury, she made it clear that she disliked me by unfriending me on social media. She gave the band her name and posted provocative photos of herself participating in the band on the internet. I don't like feeling like this. I hate who I am. Do you have any advice? — envy of pennsylvania
Dear Jealous Person: The band originally belonged to your husband, but at the end of your letter you mention that the vocalist gave the band his name. This leads me to believe that the band now belongs to her and he is her employee. The fact that this new band isn't doing so well might mean it won't last long. You were a singer even before you met your husband. Maybe it's time to consider reviving it and reclaiming your own artistic identity.
Dear Abby: Our daughter became a widow many years ago. She is now married for the second time. She and her fiancé are financially stable. They both have good jobs and are financing their own wedding. Lots of furniture and other household items.
My question is what can I give them as a wedding gift or how can I help them? Is it appropriate to offer to pay for the wedding cake and champagne at the reception? Please let me know if you have any other suggestions. — bride's parents
Dear Parents: Why not suggest your ideas and ask your daughter if she has any other ideas for how you can help? Since she and her fiancé have good jobs and are financing the wedding themselves, offer to buy something like appliances for the new house or donate towards the honeymoon. Please consider that.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
