Dear Abby

My husband developed an addiction to slot machines, but I was completely unaware. He would leave early in the morning, long before I was up. I ended up discovering the truth when he asked our adult children for “grocery money.” He gambled away about $600,000 that we had saved over 58 years of marriage.

Now, we’re bankrupt and dependent on our son. He said he would help us out, but only if he could take control of our land, house, and other belongings. All we get from him is a small allowance from our pension. Honestly, we are so strapped for cash that we can’t even go out for a meal or visit our other children.

This situation makes me feel hopeless. I wish I could find another teaching job, but I’m in my 80s and have health issues. While I’m grateful to still be at home, I realize this is a frustrating dead end. Please share your thoughts. — Lost everything in Texas

For those who lost it:

Is your son’s stinginess with money a reflection of your financial struggles, or is it more about punishing his father for the mess he caused? Have a conversation with him about how the little allowance isn’t enough for basic outings or meals. Maybe, as his mother, you can persuade him to reconsider, especially since you weren’t part of this situation.

Dear Abby:

I wasn’t on board with your response to “The Obedient Daughter of Alabama” (November 10). She put a camera in her 80-year-old mother’s study for fall monitoring and overheard her making unflattering remarks. Installing cameras without consent is not only questionable morally but also legally. Everyone, including the elderly, deserves privacy in their own homes.

If “Faithful Daughter” was genuinely concerned about her mother falling, a medical alert system might have been a more appropriate solution—it could alert the family and request help immediately. That’s practical, legal, and sensible.

It seems “Dutiful” may have had other reasons for setting up those cameras. How else did she overhear such a private conversation? If her mother had fallen in another room, how would she even know? If her mother was talking to someone else, she would be obviously fine, so the need for monitoring seems excessive.

If this letter makes you think it’s acceptable for children to invade their parents’ privacy, then I’m grateful to have distanced myself from them. — Anne P., Minnesota

Dear Ann:

You’re not the only one who disagreed with my answer to that previous letter. Honestly, I overlooked the privacy concerns that should have been acknowledged. Mea Culpa.