Dear Abby: Migraines and a Smoking Husband

I’ve had migraines since my teenage years, but they’ve become more frequent in my early 20s. Despite years of trying to pinpoint what triggers them, I still haven’t had much luck cutting anything out of my diet or environment.

My husband, who I adore and have been with since I was 21, is a smoker. I’ve attempted to talk to him about how this might contribute to my migraines, but he gets defensive and hurt; he’s very sensitive about his addiction. He usually avoids smoking in our home or car, sticking to outside, but even after some time, I can still smell it on his hands and clothes. To complicate things further, he has no sense of smell, so he’s unaware of how it lingers on him.

Our marriage is filled with love, and we rarely argue. But I can feel resentment growing every time he’s close to me or when I want to cuddle. It’s really hard to watch this one issue tarnish my perception of such an amazing man.

I struggle with the thought of asking him to quit smoking because I don’t want to be that kind of wife. He has so many wonderful qualities, and it scares me to see my feelings get tangled up in this one thing. I’m at a loss here—what should I do? – Head hurt in Ohio

Dear Head:

First, you should speak with your doctor about your migraines to confirm whether the cigarette smell is a trigger. If so, it might be a good idea for both you and your husband to visit the doctor together, so you can explain the situation.

It’s a fact that cigarette smoke tends to cling to a smoker’s clothing, hair, and skin, often lingering long after they’ve smoked. On the bright side, this could be a good moment for your husband to reconsider his smoking habit, which is not only potentially costly but also harmful to his health.

Dear Abby: Dealing with a Jealous Friend

My best friend, “Erie,” has a bit of a jealousy issue. She wanted to introduce me to another woman, “Mika,” who needed help getting started with a new craft. Erie passed my phone number on to Mika.

Once I told Erie that Mika had reached out and we’d set a time to meet, she became really upset. It seemed like she wanted to make that introduction herself. Now, every time I mention Mika, Erie shuts down. I’m not feeling the jealousy, so I’m not sure how to handle this. Please help. – Arkansas Goodwill

Dear Goodwill:

Do you want to keep things peaceful? It sounds a bit childish for Erie to be upset because you met Mika without her. You might want to “treat” this situation by avoiding discussions about Mika with Erie for now.