Dear Abby: I was with my ex-fiance for 13 years. Not long after he broke up with me, I ended up going to meet him at a hotel. We meet regularly, at least once a week. Go out like a date and enjoy your time together.
What's frustrating is that he doesn't want me to know where he lives. He says it's comforting to have “his own space.” It's been a year and a half since we parted ways. When I ask about our situation he says he doesn't know what he wants.
Everything he does for me shows that he loves and cares about me. I feel like we're in this weird limbo, almost like he's dragging me along because he won't say if he wants to get back together. He says, “Why can't you enjoy what we're doing?'' I want to be with him more and be better than I was before.
We were in a bad situation before and I didn't treat him well. I was going through a lot and I took it out on him. While we were no longer a couple and spent time apart, I started trying to be a happier, healthier person and getting my life in order. I love him so much that I expect more. Do you have any advice? — California situation
Dear situation: When a person is secretive, they are usually hiding something. Since someone who isn't your ex won't give you his address (even after a year and a half), there may be someone living there with him. Before the engagement ended, you demonstrated that you can be abusive when stressed. It's understandable that he doesn't want to risk another round.
From what you've written, he enjoys things the way they are. he doesn't want more. To do so, you must find someone who can give you the future you are looking for.
Dear Abby: I'm a straight guy who likes to wear women's biker shorts under shorts or pants. I love wearing women's leggings and stockings in the winter because they keep my feet warm. I also love the way they feel. No one knows I'm doing this. I have been dating for years and she doesn't know. Is it okay to wear these items? — new york secretive
dear secret: From your description, you are defined as a masked transvestite. That way you won't hurt anyone. You're not the only one enjoying it. Yes, you can continue as usual.
Dear Abby: I have a brother-in-law who likes to kiss me on the lips when I hug him hello or goodbye. My wife doesn't like the kiss and turns her face away. Then he starts kissing her cheek, but she doesn't want it either, especially when it's open-mouthed and drooling. He does the same to the other stepsisters, but most of them look away when he comes running with the man. How can I handle this situation without hurting his feelings or embarrassing him? smooth in wisconsin
Dear Mr. Smooth: Can I be frank? People who are too insensitive to realize that a kiss is unwanted need to be directly told that it is a kiss. If it “embarrasses” the kisser, so be it. (Yay!)
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
