Dear Abby: I first met “Bobby” back in college during the early ’70s. We fell in love, got married, and spent seven years together. Over time, things changed, and we divorced amicably. Since then, we both had fulfilling careers and happy second marriages. We’ve kept in touch mainly through holiday cards.
A few years back, Bobby started sending me emails about shared interests and ideas. She lost her husband earlier this year, and I experienced a similar loss with my wife around the same time. Last summer, while visiting friends, I dropped by to see her. We had a lovely time at brunch, and she looked great.
Is it too far-fetched to think we could revive our relationship after all these years? She lives quite a distance away now, but I’ve contemplated moving back to my hometown. It seems we still resonate with the ideals we had back then, and I must admit I’ve always held feelings for her. Although nothing significant is happening currently, I find myself feeling quite lonely. — Looking back at Wyoming
Looking back: I don’t think it’s outlandish to consider rekindling your relationship, but do take your time. If you’re thinking about returning to your hometown, it’s wise to separate that decision from your feelings for her. It would be unfortunate if you moved and the relationship didn’t evolve as you hoped, leaving you to start over without your social circle.
Dear Abby: My son married my daughter’s best friend, Kayla, whom I’ve loved since childhood. I was thrilled when she became part of our family.
Now Kayla and my son have a baby, but I’m not permitted to see him. Only Kayla’s family gets to visit the baby. Although her parents are divorced, her father sees the kids more often than my husband and I do. I reached out to my son, but it didn’t go well; it stings that I can’t see my grandson.
I’m at a loss. My heart aches. I’ve apologized for my previous message, yet they still keep me at a distance. Plus, I just learned I’m going to be a grandma again, but I’m not exactly thrilled, considering how challenging the first child has been. I adore my grandchildren and their parents, but I’m weary of being cast as the villain. What should I do? — Quarantined in Tennessee
Dear Far Away: After a child is born, it’s quite common for new mothers to be drawn toward their own mothers. I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to this estrangement than just that one unfortunate email you sent your son. I wish I knew what caused the distance between you and Kayla, especially since you’ve known and loved her for so long.
Apologizing to your son and his wife hasn’t eased their anger, so it’s time to accept that this tricky situation may be beyond your control.
