Dear Abby: After 28 years, my wife left me “to find herself.” She doesn’t want a divorce, she says. She just needs time and space to work on herself, but she also wants to work on our marriage. She doesn’t want to talk to me, text me, or contact me.
My question is, how can I work on my marriage without contact? What should I do? I love her but she avoids me and everyone else including her friends and her family. All she wants to do is work and be alone in her apartment. — solitude of the east
Dear Lonely: You asked the right question when you asked how your wife plans to work on your marriage if you haven’t met or been in contact (or used marriage counseling). She can’t have it both ways, and it doesn’t seem like she’s going to repair what caused her to leave her marriage to you.
Ask her if she’s interested in counseling. If she isn’t please Get yourself referred to a therapist for emotional support now. That way, you’ll be able to figure out what your next steps should be faster.
Dear Abby: Two of my children suffered from pink eyes. We were assured by the doctor that if he took antibiotics for 24 hours, he would no longer be infectious. We felt safe, so we quarantined them for 24 hours and went ahead with our original plan to visit their families.
I later learned that a few days after we left, three of the nephews my sons used to play with all became hyperactive. I apologized, but I still feel guilty. We did everything our doctors recommended and still gave it to someone else. Is there anything else I can do to make up for it? — guilty pink
Dear Pink: A big box of chocolates might soothe the bitter aftertaste of visiting that family. Or search online for “Ice Cream Club of the Month.” Then you’ll find several companies that guarantee frozen shipping nationwide. Write the message “Pink Eye Apology” on the card. (And make sure one of the flavors is strawberry to intensify your sentiment.)
Dear Abby: I’m a 14 year old boy living with my parents. Due to religious restrictions, I wasn’t allowed to date her until she was 16 years old. That policy has recently changed, but my parents still bind me to it.
My problem is that I have this girl. She is my sister’s best friend. I met her when she came to play with her sister. She worries that if she waits, she will disappear from my life. She is also worried that it will be awkward with her sister. What should I do? — Love Troubled in Utah
Dear Loving Sick Person: Your parents have enforced these rules, so you need to follow them, at least for now. If this girl is friendly with your sister, she will not drop out of your life. That’s why if you’re as smart as I think she is, you’ll try to just be “friends” with her. She’s just a friend. That way, as you get to know each other better, you might be able to build a longer-lasting relationship than if you made her move now. I wish you good luck.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
