Dear Abby: My wife is involved with her ex-girlfriend from high school, who has just been released from prison after serving time for murder. I forgave her, but asked her to stop contacting me. She has stated she’d rather divorce than do that. I care for her, so I’m willing to compromise for now.
Now, she’s kicked me out of our bed and won’t let me touch or hug her. I still do house chores like I normally would. I’m looking for some guidance here. — A displaced husband in Pennsylvania.
Dear Bystander: I’m sorry to hear about your situation; it sounds incredibly painful. By excluding you from the marital bed, your wife has essentially abandoned you. If you allow her affair to persist and accept this situation, it’s likely your marriage won’t survive. It’s in your best interest to consult a lawyer immediately, as you’ll need support in the coming months.
Dear Abby: A year ago, my husband and I lent my son and his wife $6,000 for medical expenses so they could ensure a natural birth for their baby. Since then, my daughter-in-law has become quite rude and even abusive towards me. I’m not allowed to visit the baby or share any photos, while her own mother has been there for three months. How can I ask for my money back? — Contemplating options in Minnesota
Dear Second Thought: It’s common for new mothers to prefer their own parents over their in-laws during the early days. Was there a written agreement regarding the repayment of the money for the birth? If not, you might be out of luck. I wonder what could have caused such a drastic change in your daughter-in-law’s behavior towards you. Understanding that shift is key to resolving the conflict.
Dear Abby: I’ve been friends with my neighbor, “Mary,” for three decades. Unfortunately, she has developed Alzheimer’s and needs constant supervision. Her husband refuses to have her institutionalized, despite family suggestions that it might be necessary. I’ve visited Mary a few times, but it’s been nerve-wracking. She tends to wander and disrupts what we try to do together.
Recently, her husband approached me alone, stating he hired a professional to help supervise her. He then offered me a rate that was $2 an hour less than what he was paying the professional. I declined, saying he needed someone trained for that. Now, he’s telling friends we’re no longer “friends” because I wasn’t there when he needed help. He hardly acknowledges me anymore. What should I do? — Feeling unpopular in Florida
Dear Ones: Your neighbor is under immense stress, and it’s understandable he might not react positively. Don’t expect him to be friendly. Trust that you made the right choice by refusing his offer. It’s important to clarify to your mutual friends what occurred—though you attempted to help Mary, managing her situation was too taxing for you, and that’s why her husband may be upset.
