Dear Abby: I have been with my wife “Sandy” for 40 years. We got married as soon as we could as a gay couple. Although our relationship is not perfect, we are deeply committed and have always felt that we share the same values.
Recently, one of the partners of a couple we know well moved into a nursing home due to advanced dementia. The other person quickly started having relationships with other people. I told Sandy that she believed “till death do us part.” And she was shocked to learn that Sandy not only supported her cheating partner, but also said that she believed people should get on with their lives and that she could see herself doing it. received. Same!
I can't get over this situation and now I'm questioning my confidence in our relationship. I'm torn between trying to keep holding her and trying to solve all her little problems and make our relationship perfect, or leave to avoid her future betrayal. Neither path seems right. I know we should talk about it, but I'm afraid it will only make things worse. What should I do? — Shattered in New York
Dear Shattered: I think you already know what my answer will be. What you should do is talk about these uncomfortable topics. I'm so intimidated by Sandy's answer that I ask you to answer it at the office of a certified therapist at your local LGBTQ center. That way, the distance between the two of you may become even closer.
Keep in mind that none of us are in a covenant with God. If the shoe was on the other side and Sandy had a long-term, incurable illness, would she want you to rush out and find her a new partner? Somehow, I doubt it.
Dear Abby: Last weekend, my son was married in a small church in Northern California. It's the perfect place for a small wedding. The bride and groom have a large family and to keep costs down, they decided to exclude children under 21 from the guest list. (Example: She was the only friend invited to my husband's wedding, and that's my son's godfather.)
My brother and his wife, who have three children under 21, were very upset that their children were not invited to accompany them. They missed the couple's shower, didn't show up to the wedding, and gave no explanation. On the morning of the rehearsal dinner, I asked my sister and her husband the reason for their absence. Apparently, the children were very upset. We tried to talk to them about the situation but got no response. Have some advice? — Wedding Bells Blues
Dear Bruce: It would be very rude of your brother and his wife if they didn't bother to show up in response to your shower or wedding invitation. You did nothing wrong, and you don't owe them an “explanation” about the fact that your son and his bride left their children off the guest list. Move on with your life, refuse to be intimidated and be happy for your son.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440 (Los Angeles, CA 90069).
