Dear Abby: I’ve been married to my wife for a decade, and she frequently spends time away from home. It’s not about seeing someone else or hanging out at bars.
She’ll leave at any hour to go to the casino, and she’s online gambling all night, keeping awake until the early morning.
I’ve tried discussing this calmly, and I’ve even approached it angrily at times. Nothing seems to change.
She thinks I’m being rude when I express my concerns, and she believes this behavior might ruin our marriage.
How can we address this issue since it’s clearly detrimental to our relationship? I’m at a crossroads and feeling quite frustrated. — Frustrated in Michigan
Dear Frustration: If your wife’s gambling is jeopardizing your financial stability, it’s essential to set clear boundaries.
It sounds like she’s become consumed by the thrill of gambling. Consider suggesting she seek help from a gambling support group, and you might want to look into Gam-Anon for yourself.
If her behavior doesn’t improve, it may be time to consult a lawyer and inform her that you’ll need to separate your finances. It’s unfortunate, but these steps might be necessary if she refuses to seek help.
Dear Abby: My sister has stopped communicating with both my parents and me but still talks to other family members.
What’s puzzling is that none of us understand what went wrong. We’ve asked her to explain, but her responses keep changing.
Sometimes she claims it’s because I was spoiled, or because Mom didn’t give her enough praise.
I can’t grasp why she’s upset with Dad either; he’s a quiet man who keeps to himself.
Initially, I didn’t mind this situation, but it’s weighing on me now. Our parents are getting older and could benefit from some support.
Can I move past my anger, or will it linger until my parents are no longer with us? — Confused Brother in New Mexico
Dear Brother: Understand that you can’t change your sister’s behavior. If your parents pass away without reconciling, she may feel guilt about not mending relations over her perceptions.
Family counseling could encourage some healing if everyone is willing to attend.
To address your feelings toward your sister, working with a licensed therapist may help you find closure.
In the meantime, focus on expressing your love and gratitude to your parents for everything they’ve done for you.
Dear Abby was founded by Pauline Phillips and is now continued by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips. You can contact Dear Abby at PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or via Dearabby.com.
