Dear Abby: My wife and I went to our annual health check seven months ago. We were both overweight and our respective doctors told us we needed to make lifestyle changes to improve our health. Since then I have made the necessary changes. As a result, I lost 40 pounds and my vitals are all in healthy range.
My wife hasn't changed anything. There is no weight loss and she has to take medication for some issues. She made excuses while I made the sacrifices. I love her so much, but I'm very annoyed. I'm positive and encouraging, but that doesn't seem to help.
We are both of us at an age where we need to take our health seriously. This is not a look or appearance. It's about health. I really want us to have a long and healthy life together. If there is any advice I can offer, I am open to hearing it. – Indiana Fitter
Dear Fitter: Apart from modeling healthy exercise and eating habits for your wife, there's nothing you can do to force her out of the trajectory she's in. Changing your lifestyle (or not) is a personal choice. The motivation must come from within, and she must decide to make the effort. Her doctor, not you, should discuss what to do with her and why. Even small changes can make a huge difference.
Dear Abby: I have a 7-year-old great grandson, Emma. She is beautiful, clever, happy, just wonderful. Her dad, my grandchildren, and her mother are no longer together, but they share custody. My grandson has since been with Baby Mom No. 2 and has two other children.
Emma's life was not the easiest due to combat and disagreement. Her mother is also with another man and has other children. Her mom's boyfriend is not nice to Emma. My grandson is trying to take her into custody.
Emma is bright and clever. I would like to talk to her about independence. I know she's too young to understand at 7am. Is it healthy to be a good age to teach her independence, how to offer herself, and being with someone without dependent on him instead of “needing” a man? – Her “Zeegee” in Colorado
Dear “Zigee”: This is not a one-off lesson you are trying to tell. It is a lifelong process. The first thing you need to do is be a role model for Emma. Rather than being dependent on men, she is independent, she is exposed to books and videos about women who build a career and live for themselves. Then she teaches her self-esteem. If so, then those are lessons where she becomes an adult with her.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact dear Abby http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
