LOS ANGELES (AP)
Nikki Glaser had a bold start with her monologue at the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday, delivering sharp humor before easing into the evening’s festivities. In her opening lines, she hinted that some celebrities in attendance might be referenced in the Epstein files, taking a jab at CBS, the network broadcasting the event.
“There are so many A-listers. By A-listers, I mean people who are on heavily edited lists,” she quipped. “And the Golden Globe for Best Editing goes to the Department of Justice.”
She also poked fun at her recent situation, recalling how CBS News had killed a crucial “60 Minutes” story about the Trump administration sending immigrants to prisons in El Salvador. “Most of the editorial awards go to CBS News,” she commented. “Yes, it’s CBS News. America’s newest place to watch BS News.”
Though she didn’t mention Venezuela during her routine, Glaser had confided to The Associated Press that she thought about it but wasn’t sure it would hold relevance given the current chaotic climate. She also opted not to address ICE directly.
Glaser mentioned struggling to find new material, noting that even Julia Roberts had such a high reputation that her attempts at humor hadn’t landed well with test audiences. But she managed to sidestep the issue cleverly.
“Like the podcasters I nominated tonight, I shouldn’t be allowed this close to Julia Roberts,” she remarked, receiving the big laugh she aimed for.
This was Glaser’s second time hosting the Golden Globes, having been invited back after a successful debut the previous year. Her initial gig followed a scathing roast during Netflix’s Roast of Tom Brady. While she was certainly gentler this time around, her jokes retained a certain sharpness.
She made a familiar joke about Leonardo DiCaprio’s preference for younger partners, saying, “You’ve worked with all the great directors. You’ve won three Golden Globes and one Oscar. And the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30.”
Getting a bit meta, she later apologized for the obvious nature of the joke. “Leo, I’m sorry for making a joke. It’s a cheap one. You know, I tried not to, but, well, we don’t know anything else about you, come on. There’s nothing else, open up!” This earned her even more laughter, particularly from DiCaprio himself.
Referring to Sean Penn, DiCaprio’s fellow nominee, she joked, “Everyone in this town is obsessed with looking young. Meanwhile, Sean Penn is like, ‘What if I slowly transform into a sexy leather handbag?'”
She also commented on the impressive physique of Timothée Chalamet, saying he was “the first actor in history who had to put on muscle for a movie about table tennis. It’s true. He gained over 60 ounces.”
During the ceremony, she even walked into the audience to discuss the arrangement of tables in the ballroom. “To my right is a table with ‘Hamnet,’ ‘All Her Fault,’ and ‘Bugonia,’” she noted. “It’s an area we call ‘Traumatized Women’s Alley.’ We’ll never find out where ‘Traumatized Men’s Alley’ is because they’re forbidden to tell us.”
At one point, she became the target of a joke herself when Judd Apatow presented the Best Director award, saying, “Nikki Glaser used to be our babysitter. That’s true. She was our babysitter, and she’s like, ‘I do stand-up comedy.’ Then I looked at her sets online, and they were all about sucking reefers and having weird sex, and then she quit babysitting.”
