Bad dates are all too familiar in New York. We’ve all had those nights with self-absorbed people, or marathon outings that just leave you totally drained. It’s really no surprise that making real connections in the city feels like navigating a complicated maze.
Much to my amazement, some New Yorkers, fed up with the pressure of dating apps, are actually opting for AI companions instead. They’re putting the quest for genuine connection aside, diving into new experiences with algorithms instead.
Personally, I’ve not gotten to that point of falling for a chatbot, but my own dating adventures in the city are riddled with amusing disasters—like the aspiring writer who spent nearly two hours talking about his awful script, or the guy who suddenly spiraled into a panic attack halfway through our meal. Did I do something wrong?
So, when I stumbled across an Instagram ad for a unique dating event where participants wear blindfolds until a meaningful connection is made, reminiscent of that popular Netflix show “Love Is Blind,” I was intrigued. It certainly caught the attention of more than a few single women out there.
Mai Hoang Nguyen, 38, is behind this initiative called Unseen Connections, which first started in Lisbon, Portugal. She explained to me that the idea is to break free from our digitally-driven image-obsessed culture and pave the way for authentic interactions.
“We both loved ‘Love Is Blind,'” Nguyen recalled, speaking about her close friend and co-founder, Martina Gruber. They decided to create an event that mirrors that concept—but more enjoyable and less superficial.
The event, called In the Dark Evening, is deliberately kept small, aiming for participants to meet four potential matches from a carefully curated group of about 30 attendees, generally split evenly between men and women.
With a $100 entry fee, which covers drinks and hors d’oeuvres, attendees fill out a survey with around 20 questions about their values and relationship preferences. Nguyen even built a virtual agent to match participants using ChatGPT, although they still read through every application personally.
Aria, the New York chapter leader for Unseen Connection, mentioned that while women are eager to sign up, it’s a bit trickier to draw in more men for blind dates.
To attract quality male participants, she’s taken a creative approach.
“If I see an attractive guy on the subway, I hand him a card that says, ‘You’re hot,'” Aria explained. “On the back, there’s our QR code saying something like, ‘We think you’re good-looking, but your dating algorithm doesn’t match you. Try this instead.’
Feeling adventurous, I completed the survey and awaited the inaugural New York event with some nerves.
actual event
On the night of Unseen Connection’s debut in New York, I arrived at It’s Him—a popular bar in Hell’s Kitchen—confident in my cream top and black pants. Ironically, I was the only one able to see what I was wearing all night.
While sipping vodka martinis at the table where I was set to meet my date, I chatted with some of the other women there. Scarlett, a 32-year-old software engineer, mentioned that she’d been single for nearly three years and was simply tired of apps.
The women arrived a little early so volunteers could help guide us, avoiding any peeks at potential dates.
“I’m open to whatever the outcome is, whether it goes well or not,” Scarlett shared. “It’s all about rebuilding my confidence and making an effort to try again.”
Her positive energy encouraged me to don my blindfold. After a brief overview of the evening’s layout, the men were brought to each woman’s table for three quick dates, with a surprise in the fourth round when the men were revealed.
This was the moment I had been waiting for: a chance to connect with three different men without any visual distractions.
Interestingly, I found that my senses kicked in; I was keenly aware of smells and voices, and even the feel of their hands. It all played a big part in determining which connection felt right.
After a surprise fourth round where we removed our blindfolds and sought a match based on wristbands, I came away with one match—an intriguing guy with whom I felt a solid rapport.
No matter where it goes from here, this experience felt like a win. It was, as Nguyen put it, about being brave enough to seek a real-life connection and gain deeper self-awareness along the way.
“It’s thrilling to watch people lower their guard and meet each other in such an unconventional way,” Nguyen said. “It’s really about stepping out of your head and connecting beyond appearances, without having to put on a facade. Who knows—something beautiful might blossom from it.”
