Exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy

Have you come across the terms “ethical non-monogamy” or “polyamory”? Maybe “three” rings a bell? If these concepts are new to you, let’s break them down quickly: it often involves unconventional relationships. In fact, it seems that nowadays, it’s almost celebrated. What once might have been seen as taboo is now frequently dressed up in social justice language, almost making it commendable.

A recent piece from New York magazine’s The Cut illustrates this trend well with a headline raising the question: “Will starting a married life ease the mental burden?” Erica Schwiegershausen, a senior writer for The Cut, interviewed married mothers engaged in “open marriages,” which allow each partner to have sexual relationships outside of their marriage.

After seven years of parenthood, Olivia (a pseudonym) and her husband, Will, decided to “restart” their relationship shortly after Olivia reconnected with an ex-girlfriend over coffee.

Now, I don’t believe Olivia’s behavior falls under the category of cheating. Cheating typically involves dishonesty, and in this case, Schwiegershausen depicts a situation where the husband seemed to willingly accept the arrangement, even to the point of cuckolding.

One highlight from the article is Schwiegershausen’s point about the benefits of open marriages, mentioning that being able to connect with other individuals is a significant advantage. Yet, one has to wonder—can a marriage that allows for multiple partners really hold the same value as a traditional one?

Oh, Lord. They’re doing it again! Non-monogamy helps with potty training. Also, climate change is causing transphobia (and vice versa…) New York journalists really want to destabilize your family. Judging by the illustrations, that’s especially true if you’re black.

Schwiegershausen shows some enthusiasm for this so-called “co-parenting hack,” suggesting that non-monogamous arrangements can relieve stress and feelings of guilt. She poses the question: “What is the secret to raising children without completely hating your husband?” Well, maybe the answer is just not to hate him in the first place?

The narrative gets even more intriguing with Danielle, a mother of two. After her daughter was born, she navigated the changes by wearing two bras on dates to avoid any stains. When her husband complimented her beauty, she rolled her eyes, feeling it was obligatory. But she mentions that another man’s attraction reignited her desire.

Danielle has a significant social media following, sharing her experiences from an “open relationship” spanning fifteen years. Still, I can’t help but wonder whether it’s wise for a mother to subject her children to such public dynamics. It’s pretty unsettling to think about the impacts.

The article also touches on Maya, another woman with a complicated marital situation. With her other partner, intimacy peaked during her pregnancy, making her see herself in a new light. It’s hard to grasp that sort of emotional intertwining, and honestly, it leaves me feeling a bit repulsed.

This exploration of non-monogamy raises more questions than answers. Perhaps it’s worth considering what all of this really means for families and relationships today.