TThe first time I tried using a naughty word at school was when I was 7 years old, and it has become a family tradition. I wanted to try out some adult words I heard an older girl say in the schoolyard, so when my friend was standing in the classroom sink washing a brush covered in poster paint, I took a chance. I grabbed it.
“Hey, move your ass,” I announced out loud, my cheeks turning bright red as I realized I had it all wrong. I sprinted away, shocked by the power of a single word and how shameful it can be if it’s not properly deployed.
I’m promoting my new movie Wicked Little Letters, thanks to Olivia Colman. The film tells the true story of a 1920s scandal surrounding a very dirty poison pen letter suspected of being written by a woman. Mr Colman said there was still a double standard between men and women when it came to indecent acts. She said: “When women say bad things, people act surprised. Fuck you! Women are just as funny, dirty, loving and caring as men.” she said Radio Times.
It’s too bloody. Let’s capture 2001 Research by Louisiana State UniversityThe paper concludes that people find it more unpleasant to hear insults from women than men, and they also say more insults. Of course, there is a huge disparity between men and women.
One need only look at the reaction to women in the public eye to understand how far we have come from the equal-opportunity moniker. Her personal favorite is Kim Sears’ “abuse” of her husband Andy Murray in the Australian Open semi-finals in 2015, when he mouthed “fuck you, Czech flashfuck” to the opposing team. It looked like it was open. Although she certainly didn’t need to mention her nationality, she couldn’t help but admire her sheer fluency of alliteration. Her response to accusations of her “unfeminine” behavior (which is now a very offensive term) is to wear a “Parental Advice, Explicit Content” T-shirt at the finals. That was it. Game, set and match, Kim.
If we affirm badmouthing of a woman, it tends to be fetishized and held up as proof that she is the “salt of the earth” (I am referring to Kathy Burke’s 2002 comedy award winner I’m thinking of the incomparable “About Fucking Time” ).
My own education began with Bridget Jones’ bad-mouthed journalist friend Shazer. Shazer quite reasonably asked, “Did he really stick his tongue down your throat?” Mark Darcy’s. As far as I know, it was Bridget herself who coined the term “emotional shitwit” for certain types of men, and I’m forever grateful for that term.
I’ve certainly become more tolerant lately. I am the proud owner of a Karen Chan porcelain ring that says “You Bastard.” The ring always sells out quickly to her fans. To them, delicate jewelry emblazoned with expletives feels like an act of rebellion. I’m very attached to the idea of polite femininity, and you can’t put a price on it.
Do you think it’s good and smart to say bad things? sometimes. But I’ve always thought that a well-placed profanity is the perfect way to reject outdated ideas about feminine delicacy and polite society. Plus, you can make it delicious and creative. Coleman has said that her favorite line in the script is “fuck you nostrils.” My favorites are Eavesdropping, Nobber, Clusterfuck, Ass Biscuit, and “Fuckpig”, which Dominic Cummings used to describe Cabinet.
I can’t deny the possibility that my own toilet mouth has something to do with the industry in which I work. Would I be so abusive if I had spent the last 20 years in a corporate environment or the public sector instead of under a male editor in journalism where calling someone a “bastard” was considered human resources management? It may have been used in a derogatory manner, and I think some women find it deeply misogynistic. But I’m happy to say this. It forces you to immediately confront any preconceptions you may have about women. For me, swearing is the source of that power.
The challenge with all of this, of course, is that I want to avoid people getting a little offended when I swear, but inevitably the more I swear, the less impact it has. But the least we can do is continue to be angry at foul-mouthed men and women alike. Anything else is just rude.
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