The best summer job of my life was piloting a paddle steamer that carried about 100 passengers on a man-made lagoon near the shores of Lake Erie. The Western Cruises at Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, Ohio were 20-minute excursions, and my shifts were from 10am to 5pm, Tuesday through Sunday, with new passengers constantly on board.
Luckily, I had the chance to practice my nascent stand-up comedy skills, because although there was a standard script that all captains were encouraged to memorize and repeat verbatim, the college-aged men and women who operated the boat just wanted to have fun saying whatever they wanted to their captive audience. Moreover, the animations exhibited along the shores of the lagoon, which were supposed to depict events in the lives of the early settlers in that part of Ohio, were in poor condition; most only worked sporadically, and most of the exhibits were shabby and covered in creepy cobwebs. So, making up our own stories with jokes made the cruise more enjoyable.
As the ship carefully docked at the end of the trip, I ended my talk with my usual line: “Do you have any questions?” I paused, then said, “ Answer?”
Polite laughter usually follows.
A few decades from now I might present here some quirky questions and answers, and maybe a remark or two, to get people thinking about what on earth is going on in this strange world we live in today.
Some of these observations are My new book“The obvious: see evil in plain sight and do something about it.” And I should warn you that a thing or two might offend some people. If so, please forgive me. Take this with a pinch of salt and remember there’s still something of the sharp-tongued comedian lurking in there.
In no particular order and for no particular reason, I present the following:
When I was a kid, “climate change” had different names: winter, spring, summer, fall.
If a cow farted in the pasture, and there were no environmentalists to smell it, would that still destroy the planet?
Yesterday’s “conspiracy theory” has become today’s “I told you so.”
For many people, their search for God ends the moment they look in the mirror.
Saying that Christians should not get involved in politics is itself a political statement.
The best-laid plans of people who act like rats often go astray.
Don’t let the enemy define you. Don’t let cheaters make or remake the rules.
It is true that hatred can be considered a virtue as long as the person we hate deserves to be hated.
Some people consider “speech” to be one of their five senses, and they use that sense more than all the others combined.
Is “freedom of speech” perfectly okay if the statement is one you agree with?
Of course, this is only a partial list for the reader’s consideration. Hopefully some of these make sense and spark further discussion. If not, watch your step when you get off, the ride is over.
Editor’s note: This article originally appeared in American thinker.
