Dear Abby

A while back, in high school, I had a friend who frequently expressed his love for me. I never felt the same way, yet we remained close throughout high school, college, and into adulthood. Both of us got married, had kids, and stayed in touch occasionally.

About four years ago, we started messaging each other a lot—like, around 100 texts a day. Two years ago, we met up halfway between our states and began a sexual relationship. For a solid 18 months, we would meet once a month. The physical connection was fantastic, and our conversations flowed naturally. Then, things changed. We paused for about six months to focus on our marriages, which neither of us was happy in.

We rekindled our relationship two months ago, and I think I might be falling for him. He seems to care for me, but I doubt he’s ready to leave his family. After knowing each other for 40 years, I recognize that our connection is deep—we’re not just great in bed; we’re also really good friends. So, what should I do? — Reunited in the Midwest

Dear Reunion: You both are adults and it’s important to talk openly. Ask him about the state of his love life. Is he content continuing as is, or is he considering leaving his family? If he’s as good a friend as you think, he’ll be honest, and that clarity will help guide your next steps.

Dear Abby

I’m 22, and my boyfriend is 21. We’ve been together for a few months, and at a recent family dinner, his grandfather crossed a serious line. While I was clearing the table, he groped me. My instincts kicked in, and I slapped him hard enough that he fell from his chair. That caused quite a ruckus, and my boyfriend’s mother was furious with me.

The boyfriend’s sisters downplayed their grandfather’s behavior, claiming, “He’s just a cheater!” I left the house pretty quickly, but now my family is considering pressing charges against me. I’m in disbelief and reflecting on everything. I told my boyfriend I can’t continue our relationship, but he seems upset because we shared something good. Am I wrong? Should I apologize? — Rocking in New Jersey

Dear Shen: You absolutely do not need to apologize. It’s the boyfriend’s family who should be addressing your experience. His grandfather’s actions were inappropriate—this was not just a simple mistake. You had every right to protect yourself. If they bring up the idea of assaulting you again, make it clear that you’re willing to report his behavior. This isn’t harmless; it could escalate to someone much younger being a victim.

Dear Abby

When it gets hot outside, I tend to take off my shirt in the parking lot, toss it in my cart, and go on with my day. It helps me cool down a bit. Seems harmless to me—what do you think? — Bare-chested Man

Dear You: I suppose it all depends on how you’re built. If you’re a burly guy, probably not much to worry about, just remember the sunscreen!