Dear Abby: My oldest sister thinks she needs to go out every Sunday since she’s at home all week. She started calling me every Saturday, and I invited her to join me.
It was then that I noticed she has mobility issues and possibly early signs of dementia. She wants to visit specific places we used to go together.
Friends and family used to join her, but that support seems to have faded, which is why she’s reaching out to me now. It feels like she refuses to acknowledge her limitations.
She uses a walker and no longer drives, but she needs to be able to do both. I’m worried; she calls me every weekend, and I’ve run out of excuses.
I’m really fearful about this and am unsure how to handle the situation. I need some guidance. She clearly isn’t picking up on my hints. – A worried sister in California
Dear sister: Stop hinting. If your sister’s dementia progresses and someone has to take her car away, discuss what to do with other family members.
It’s understandable she wants to get out after being cooped up for a week.
Consider reaching out to a local senior center about supervised activities and transportation for seniors with disabilities.
People with memory issues can be unpredictable—there are reports of them driving off with the intent of heading to Sacramento but ending up in San Diego instead.
If necessary, send a letter to the DMV, as your sister could pose a danger on the road.
Dear Abby: My best friend Troy and I spend a lot of time together. We do almost everything together, and people often mistake us for a couple.
Troy didn’t mind people thinking that until I pointed it out. Since then, it feels more like a relationship to me.
While we don’t hold hands or kiss, he often asks about my plans and who I’m with when he’s not around.
Before we hang up, we always say, “I love you.”
I’ve started to develop feelings for him. He claims he doesn’t feel the same way, yet it seems like he’s creating a romantic atmosphere.
I’ve asked him to tone it down since it confuses me, but we just slip back into that pattern.
I’m unsure if he wants a relationship—how can I figure out his true feelings? Can you help? – Confused in Montana
Dear Confused: You’ve made your desire for a relationship with Troy clear. He has explicitly stated that he doesn’t share romantic feelings.
While he enjoys your company and tells you he loves you, he hasn’t expressed being in love with you. Moreover, he doesn’t engage in physical affection like holding hands or kissing.
This is a tough situation. If you’re looking for more than friendship, it appears Troy isn’t the right person for that. You seem firmly in the friend zone, and I empathize with your feelings.
