He resides near Montclair, but for one woman in New York, it feels like he’s in a different time zone altogether.
His struggles with online dating led him to share his experiences on Reddit, expressing frustration over his local dating scene in New Jersey.
Most of his matches are from women in New York City, and he suspects many of them lose interest upon learning he lives in New Jersey. He shared, “Once they find out I’m in Jersey, it’s like a switch flips. It’s as if I’m in a different country.”
This Reddit user is based in North Caldwell and has a car, which he appreciates. However, it’s not much comfort when it comes to dating.
Jessica, a 24-year-old from Crown Heights, mentioned that she often swipes left on profiles from New Jersey, simply stating, “It’s too far.”
And she’s not the only one. Numerous women chimed in on Reddit, venting their frustrations about the NYC dating landscape. One commenter noted, “People aren’t interested in traveling far for a relationship when there are plenty of options nearby.”
Another user echoed this sentiment, sharing, “I don’t want a long-distance relationship when I can easily hop on the subway and find someone close.”
Reflecting on her experience, another single woman recounted a date in Bay Ridge, saying it felt like “an eternity on the subway,” comparing it to the distance between Baltimore and Philadelphia.
One woman candidly stated, “I’m not going to New Jersey. It’s not about the state itself; it’s really about the logistics.”
Many commenters shared that traveling to New Jersey typically involves public transport, which can be a hassle.
Some parts of New Jersey are often seen as too far by women who prefer to seek dates closer to home. However, there are also women willing to explore, though the odds can seem stacked against them.
A 24-year-old from Paramus, now dating someone from New York, admitted he was initially hesitant about the distance, costs, and effort required for a trip into the city. “Dating in New York can be incredibly time-consuming, especially from Jersey. It made me worried,” he said.
He added, “My commitment to dating in New York definitely held me back from connecting with other women earlier.”
When he began dating his current girlfriend while living in Yonkers, they opted to meet frequently in Manhattan, which meant both endured lengthy commutes. “Only crossing over the Hudson can be a drag. I’d do it for the right person, but I get if some want to stay closer,” he remarked, acknowledging the unpredictability of public transport and traffic.
This Redditor mentioned trying to date more local women, but felt many didn’t share his values, leading him back to women in New York instead.
He concluded that while New Jersey has a certain reputation, commuting can sometimes be quicker from there than from various parts of NYC. “It’s not all about the distance. That perception is limiting,” he emphasized, defending those from Staten Island and Long Island as well.
