Requests for substitutions at restaurants are quite common these days. However, some chefs and restaurant owners are starting to express concerns about how these requests can disrupt kitchen operations and detract from the overall dining experience.
This ongoing debate has opened up discussions around restaurant etiquette. Experts caution that while adjustments can be fine in moderation, excessive modifications might cross into a realm of entitlement.
Take Lom Wong, a Thai eatery in Phoenix, Arizona. After gaining recognition in the 2026 Michelin Guide Southwest, the restaurant observed a surge in requests for modifications, prompting a firm stance against them.
Experts like Robert Mahon, a veteran in the restaurant industry, along with etiquette consultant Diane Gottsman, have shared insights, noting that while some changes are reasonable, too many requests can create challenges for staff.
In a recent Instagram post, Lom Wong emphasized that they serve “village Thai food” and do not adhere to traditional European-style dining methods.
The message clearly stated, “We’ll take your whole order at once. Your dishes will come out when they’re ready.” They also cautioned customers not to assume the restaurant would adjust to someone else’s perception of an award-winning dining experience.
Additionally, Lom Wong stated, “We also don’t make substitutions simply to make a dish more familiar. These recipes were shared with us by our families or by the communities we work with. We respect those recipes and the people who entrusted them to us.”
The restaurant’s stance was largely supported, with many commenters applauding their commitment to authenticity.
One user made an interesting point, asserting that the customer isn’t always right. They highlighted that respect and manners should be observed, especially when dining at someone else’s establishment.
However, opinions varied. Some people expressed that, while the philosophy sounds good, it can be unreasonable to expect diners to stick to rigid ordering sequences. After all, sometimes one realizes they want dessert first after all.
Mahon discussed how excessive substitutions can dilute the carefully curated flavors intended in the dishes. He explained that chefs design meals to deliver a blend of flavors meant to be enjoyed together, so alterations can completely change that experience.
He noted that accommodating every substitution while maintaining high standards of service is often not feasible. He stressed that allergies and dietary restrictions are taken seriously but added that unnecessary modifications might lead to longer waits, especially if multiple people at a table are altering their orders.
Gottsman pointed out that excessive requests can border on poor dining etiquette. Asking to remove, say, tomatoes, is minor and manageable. But a complete overhaul of a dish might be perceived as entitlement.
In the end, Gottsman advised those with allergies or dietary needs to approach requests politely and respectfully, avoiding any burden on the waitstaff or kitchen.
