It has become an electoral tradition. Every four years, a long list of Hollywood celebrities and musicians vow to leave America and never return if the bad orange guy wins. And the majority of them, instead of keeping their word, stay and complain for the next four years.
After Trump's surprise victory in 2016, A-listers like Miley Cyrus, Bryan Cranston, Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, and Samuel L. I couldn't wait to be the first to offer.
Yes, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been wearing cute socks lately. backpedal I'm referring to his aggressive pro-immigration policies, but I'm talking about Canada here.
None of them left — and only Jackson had a believable excuse (he was playing Magic 8 Ball in a late-night sketch when he said it).
Miraculously, all escaped political persecution for opposing the new authoritarian regime.
Here is a list of forgotten celebrities. One-way ticket from the land of the free John Legend, Chrissy Teigen, Mötley Crüe drummer, Tommy Lee, Amy Schumer, Sharon Stone (“I’m definitely considering a house in Italy”), Barbra Streisand (“I can’t live there”) It has been a longer period than ever before, including bright stars such as. (in President Trump's America), and Cher (who will no doubt resign, but is still angry about the “ulcer” created by the 2016 election).
But wait — that's not all! Elon Musk's son, a man who lives as a trans woman and goes by the name Vivian Wilson, also promised to leavethat there is no future for a Trump-led America. I hope they make room in their dad's Cybertruck for Kamala Sil Cardi B and Race Hustler Whoopi Goldberg. The latter may wish to depart sooner rather than later, given that: defamation lawsuit against her.
Now some celebrities are doing this: P. Diddy's A friend who is “joking” Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi moved to the UK in the wake of Trump's victory, but say they will never return. Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria left for Mexico and Spain for the first time several years ago, saying she could no longer live in the “dystopian” America.
Nevertheless, such brave deserters are in the minority. We know that most celebs are so tired of just run away It means you need a few weeks of hot spring time before you even think about packing for real life.
Once you're ready, Align will help you create a list of MAGA-free destinations. Hollywood stars, we hope you remember us. Get your precious personal assistant ready. You don't have to worry about being “second” in your personal toilet.
haiti
With thousands of Haitians recently settling in Springfield, Ohio, it's time for a little cultural exchange. Pets welcome!
What's more, Haiti is personally recommended by none other than the carrot-topped droll Conan O'Brien. He spent four days in the Caribbean country in 2018 following reports that President Trump called Haiti a “shithole.”
What is his verdict? ”Haiti is already the best“Your move, Mr. Drump!”
Unfortunately, the Haitian Embassy in Washington, DC did not respond to our inquiries by deadline. It is noteworthy that the U.S. embassy in Haiti is under an exit order due to insecurity and violence. That's one way to describe your new home. We call this gentrification response.
British Commonwealth countries
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The advantage of moving to the UK is that at least 45% of the population speaks English as their native language. So there is no need to translate a yard sign that says “In this house, we…”. If old Blighty isn't your cup of tea, why not try other former British colonies like Australia, New Zealand or South Africa?
None of the embassies of these countries responded by press time, but all of them are constantly seeking skilled workers, especially in areas like pretending to cry on camera or starting an athleisure wear brand. are welcome.
And don't overlook our neighbors to the north. After all, they gave us Jim Carrey, so isn't it time we give them back?
When asked about the possibility of fast-tracking VIP asylum seekers, Canadian officials responded enthusiastically that “all applications from around the world are evaluated equally and based on the same criteria.”
Yes, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been wearing cute socks lately. backpedal I'm referring to his aggressive pro-immigration policies, but I'm talking about Canada here. As long as you take a few selfies with the border guards, you'll be fine.
Germany
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How ironic that the OG Nazis would build a life in their own homeland and escape Hitler in America? (A possible screenplay idea?) Don't worry, the country's powerful new opposition Thanks to fascist laws, his type is no longer welcome here. If you post a hateful meme, you'll go to jail, no questions asked.
German officials would not comment on celebrity escape visas, other than to quipped that “established procedures remain valid.” Amazing German. Anyway, that's exactly what the doorman at Lure says. I'm sure you should be on the list.
north korea
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Talk about exclusivity! I'm not going to lie, it's not easy to enter this workers' paradise, especially as an aggressor of American imperialism. But even if you do, this scene is much less competitive than LA or New York.
As an influencer born in North Korea Park Young Mi “In a free world, children dream of what they want to be when they grow up and how they can use their talents. My ambition was to buy as much bread as I wanted and eat it all.
Is there a place where I don't have to count all my carbs and feel guilty? Sounds like heaven to us.
sea
Aiming for a better life by the sea is typical refugee behavior. Just in time for the coming collapse of democracy, a cruise company in Florida has created a chic and stylish design for its boat people. Added a sense of luxury:
“Villa Vie Residences is capitalizing on the election results by offering Americans a four-year getaway, the equivalent of a presidential term, starting at approximately $160,000 per person, taking guests to more than 425 ports in 140 countries. did.”
It's just like the ayahuasca shamans at Burning Man say: The journey is the destination. Everyone please ride!
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