The Crisis in American Etiquette

The US has been facing a civil crisis for quite some time now. It’s more than just a matter of “manners”—the decline in polite behavior serves as a significant indicator of broader societal issues.

Just like many cultures, the US has its own unwritten rules on how to interact in various social contexts, be it formal or informal. Take Japan, for example: their expressions of goodwill differ significantly from ours.

In America, especially in regions leaning Democratic, courtesy seems to be fading. This breakdown in etiquette points to deeper underlying problems.

• There’s a growing indifference towards quality craftsmanship and functional products. Current trends prioritize cheapness over value, often leading to a reliance on imports.

• Many young adults, particularly those under 40, feel disconnected from their work. They often don’t see the need for basic interactions, like making eye contact or responding verbally to customers.

• Businesses seem to place less emphasis on customer service and accuracy in fulfilling orders, which likely stems from a lack of accountability.

• Americans also lack a unified consumer force capable of putting pressure on large corporations. Companies thrive on knowing that we depend on their products, leaving consumers feeling powerless. Exceptions arise only occasionally, like in the recent rebranding by a certain restaurant chain.

Personal Anecdote

Let me share a story that captures these sentiments. I produce a weekly podcast and recently had to replace my computer due to a power surge. So, I headed to a big-box store to spend over $2,000 on new equipment, with my business partner having ordered it online.

At the Best Buy customer service desk, I found one employee engrossed in his computer, ignoring my presence. I stood there quietly, hand clasped, hoping to be acknowledged. After what felt like ages, he finally looked up.

The Gen Z Experience

My hesitation in approaching him stemmed from past encounters, where requests often met with confusion or even hostility. I figured it might be better to just wait for him to engage me rather than risk an unfavorable reaction.

After a while, I stepped closer and the employee—let’s call him Noah—gave me a blank stare. There was no acknowledgment, no greeting. The atmosphere felt increasingly awkward.

Noah, like many young employees today, seemed disconnected. He was notably overweight, but that wasn’t the crux of my discomfort. His clothing choice drew attention in a way that felt inappropriate. I, too, have my struggles with weight but choose to dress to minimize such attention.

First Contact

Eventually, he muttered something about needing a “barcode.” It was unclear whether it was a request, a command, or just an odd statement. I tried to clarify, mentioning my struggles with the email receipt.

Keeping It Polite

In public interactions, I’m generally polite. Years working in hospitality and customer service have taught me how to communicate effectively. I’m accustomed to rude behavior, so I try to counteract it with kindness, yet sometimes it feels thankless.

When I asked for his name—again, to ease the interaction—he turned his attention to his iPad. After some time, he returned with a couple of smaller items but had completely forgotten the computer. My way of addressing this was careful; I didn’t directly accuse him of forgetting it, hoping to prompt a helpful response.

Yet, he remained fixated on his device, seemingly uninterested in correcting his mistake. When he did finally fetch the computer, he offered no receipt or acknowledgment of my purchase, raising questions about security and theft prevention in the store.

Where Trust Is Broken

What struck me was the lack of verification when handing me the items. No requests for ID or proof of purchase. It left me questioning how easy it would be for someone to walk away with expensive merchandise.

As I exited, I noticed staff chatting amongst themselves and one scrolling on his phone. Situations like this partly explain the rise in theft; there are few consequences for stealing.

The Lack of Accountability

There seems to be no repercussions for employees who fail to perform their duties adequately. Why would they fear reprimand when it appears their managers overlook these behaviors? Are we consumers just stuck in this unfortunate state? Navigating government regulations often leads to complications rather than solutions.

Is there hope? Some suggest we’re edging toward a situation reminiscent of former communist states. I’ve found that older generations who experienced such conditions often nod in recognition, signaling that these issues are not new. Yet, it appears their warnings go unnoticed.

If you have thoughts on what we can do to address this situation, I’d love to hear them.