To the tune of George Strait’s popular song “The Best Day,” a son sings to his father.
Dad, this may be the best day of my life.
Day and night, I’ve imagined the fun we’ve had.
It’s me and you doing what I’ve always dreamed of.
I’m the luckiest boy alive.
This is the best day of my life.
Last weekend, those lyrics felt real. While flying to Virginia, my 8-year-old son turned to me, beaming from ear to ear, saying, “Dad, this is my favorite three days.” Surprisingly, it’s not a holiday or his birthday, and no family vacation is involved. His favorite three days are being spent with me in the hills of Virginia, at a quaint father-son retreat where 25 fathers connect with their school-age sons to reinforce their special bonds.
Being a father is not about perfection; it’s about presence. It’s a continual journey.
For three years now, we’ve made this trip a ritual: canoeing down rivers, gathering around bonfires, sharing stories, visiting Civil War battlefields, and exploring museums that showcase American history. There’s something refreshing about intentionally engaging in fellowship with other dads and sons, rather than being glued to screens or hurrying from one activity to another.
These experiences don’t just happen; they require effort and a willingness to preserve them.
Fostering Intergenerational Connections
The retreat thrives on the boys’ energy, providing just as much for the dads. Men gather by the fire as the kids vanish into the woods, lost in laser tag games and trampoline battles. We sip whiskey and candidly chat about parenting challenges in a world that often overlooks the importance of marriage, work, faith, and children. Some discussions dive deep, while others bring laughter, but all are genuine. It’s a true communion.
This, I believe, is the essence of being alive. And being present matters.
Statistics reinforce this notion. According to the US Census Bureau, children raised in homes without fathers are four times more likely to live in poverty and twice as likely to face obesity and incarceration.
Moreover, boys whose fathers are involved are less prone to drug use, school suspensions, or criminal behavior. In terms of faith, if a father regularly practices his beliefs, his children are much more likely to remain active in their faith as they grow up, compared to those whose mothers solely practice.
These facts don’t undermine the roles mothers play; instead, they highlight that fathers uniquely influence their sons’ lives. In a society that often depicts men as expendable, retreats like this one remind us that a well-defined masculinity is crucial.
Transforming Boys into Men
This year’s most striking moments didn’t revolve around canoeing or campfires. It was witnessing my son engage with other boys. They ran about freely, turning sticks into swords, building forts, and getting their jeans grass-stained. It was chaotic, loud, and beautiful. But beyond the play, they absorbed something more profound. They witnessed a group of engaged men actively participating in their lives.
It’s easy to say “boys will be boys” when justifying unruly behavior. Yet, boys often overlook that they’ll eventually transition into men. In this retreat, they witnessed fathers who love their families, work diligently, and take their faith seriously. Here, masculinity is not framed as toxic, but rather life-giving.
Our founders valued virtue for a reason. As President George Washington stated, “Virtue or morality is the necessary spring of popular government.” Where better to learn virtue than perched on a father’s lap? While visiting Civil War battlefields, I reflected on the boys who made sacrifices because they understood their fathers had taught them that fighting for something matters, and they grew into men who valued purpose.
The Reality of Fatherhood
Being a father isn’t about being flawless; it’s about being there consistently. One moment, your 8-year-old son looks up at you and says, “This is my favorite three days.”
I returned from Virginia feeling grateful and more resolute. Our culture might push men to step back, remain silent, and feel apologetic about their identity. Yet weekends like these serve as a reminder that America not only needs strong fathers but depends on them. Nations that undervalue fatherhood are on a decline, while those that uphold it have hope.
Related: This is a True Father: My Father’s Final Deed Defined Love and Masculinity
When Alexis de Tocqueville visited America in the 1830s, it wasn’t our government or military that caught his attention; it was our families. He noted that the strength of American democracy was directly tied to the strength of American homes. Almost two centuries later, that observation remains relevant.
Investing in a Lifetime
This retreat may have spanned just three days in Virginia, but its impact was significant. It embodied the idea that faith, family, and freedom are not mere empty notions. They stem from moments around a campfire, shared canoeing trips, and heartfelt father-son dialogues. If America is to prosper, it requires fathers to embrace their God-given roles, raising sons who understand their heritage and future directions.
In summation, the weekend record looked like this: One bloody nose, a trip to the hospital for an arm x-ray, a few close calls, and countless memories that Dad couldn’t even keep track of.
Perhaps, more importantly, that 8-year-old boy felt secure with his father by his side.
