Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions

Each year, countless adults dive into the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions. Honestly, I sometimes wonder whether this is an earnest effort at self-improvement or just a hopeful reset following the chaos of the past year.

Most resolutions tend to fizzle out by January’s end. It’s well-known that gyms pack in new members this month, yet attendance typically drops off significantly by March. My husband and I used to be in that cycle. We had all sorts of goals—cutting down on sugar, meal prepping, investing more—but by December, those plans, which never held much significance, usually got abandoned. Life happens, and with children to raise and a marriage to nurture, those surface-level commitments often took a backseat.

A report shared by U.S. News & World Report mentioned that the failure rate for New Year’s resolutions is around 80%. People generally lose their resolve by mid-February, which really says a lot.

Recognizing this pattern, we decided to change things up. We stopped making New Year’s resolutions. That doesn’t imply we don’t aim to improve ourselves. After all, post-holiday meals often leave us wanting to eat healthier and get active. Plus, we’re no longer kidding ourselves about sticking to conventional resolutions.

Instead, every December, we reassess our marriage. We came to understand that the best way to raise caring children is to love one another deeply. Consequently, we believe that being honest about our relationship is crucial for setting a solid foundation for the year to come.

In my Good Life newsletter, I’ve mentioned how my husband often travels for work. After we welcomed our fourth daughter, we began discussing our marriage as his travels had created a divide between us. It felt unsettling, almost like the life we had built was at risk. I vividly remember him sitting me down after a New Year’s Eve celebration and stressing the urgency of addressing this.

Thus, our annual tradition began. We take the time to talk about our relationship, recalling moments of love, support during difficult times, and unexpected joys we’ve shared.

Then comes the tougher part. Once we praise each other, we explore areas for improvement moving forward. This requires careful navigation. We avoid criticizing or assigning blame; it’s not the moment to air grievances. Instead, we focus on self-reflection. He shares what he thinks about himself, and I do the same.

Steering clear of the blame game means we each take a good look at our own actions and make new commitments to love and cherish one another for another year. This practice not only strengthens our bond but can happen at any time during the year, not just December or January.

In essence, New Year’s resolutions can often seem shallow, lacking genuine personal growth. This year, I suggest seeking ways to enrich your life that lead to meaningful changes instead.