“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”
This famous quote from British poet William Wallace rings true, but can a woman be rocked in a cradle and type on a laptop at the same time? How can she do both?
The debate about whether women should work or be stay-at-home moms seems like a lose-lose situation.
Motherhood is life's greatest gift and greatest responsibility. Between working, raising children, cooking, and cleaning, mothers feel the weight of raising children amidst the ups and downs.
In recent years, the “tradwife” trend has emerged as the antithesis of the working career mom that feminism has pushed down women's throats. “Trad” is an abbreviation for traditional. Simply put, it means a woman who takes on the traditional role of a mother, such as cooking, staying at home, caring for children, and performing traditional gender roles.
Since the rise of feminism, society has told women that they “don't need men” and that a woman's career is far more important than raising children and doing housework. But like most things in life, human nature tends to swing from one extreme to the other, and right now women feel cornered with only two options: career or motherhood. Masu.
However, they are not mutually exclusive.
When I was young, I dreamed of becoming a housewife. I fed my baby doll with a bottle. We played “House”. I cooked my meal in the outdoor “kitchen”. And from an early age, I knew that I wanted to educate my future children at home.
You could say I was a “traditional wife” in waiting, aside from my hobby farm.
I never imagined that I would get married and have a child at almost 30 years old. I spent part of my twenties living and working in the political world of Washington, DC. I was in relationships with women who wanted nothing to do with children or marriage, only pursuing careers. Ironically, my “career” and the skills I gained in Washington, D.C. led me to South Dakota, where I met my husband, started a family, and ultimately put down roots.
The debate about whether women should work or be stay-at-home moms seems like a lose-lose situation. And when we look at the ideal Biblical mother through a Biblical lens, there is important information that we often miss.
From the beginning of time, before sin entered the world, God commanded Adam to “tough and maintain” the garden (Genesis 2:15). Because women are helpers and co-workers (Genesis 2:18), we too are called to work. In Colossians 3:23, Paul exhorts believers to work, saying, “Whatever you do, work diligently for the Lord and not for men.”
As Titus 2:5 says for women, we are commanded to prioritize family and home in our work. In other words, be a “house worker.” Managing a home is a full-time job, so the job is not just the same as working outside the home.
Although the Biblical world did not have laptops, remote work, or 9-to-5 job options, God established principles by which we should live and work.
When we think of the archetype of a godly working woman, we often think of Proverbs 31. Indeed, reading this chapter may make any woman feel inadequate. Who is this superwoman?
No one truly “has it all,” but the woman in Proverbs 31 certainly seems to have it all. She's perfect. She runs a business. she cooks She feeds the poor. she makes clothes She wakes up early and goes to bed late (truly a superpower). She “observes well the ways of her family.” She worships the Lord. She smiles when she comes someday. she exercises She manages the finances. She is hospitable. she is smart she is kind She is “willing to work with her hands.”
The list goes on.
This woman sounds like Martha Stewart meets Elon Musk meets Ballerina Farm lady Hannah Neeleman. What doesn't she do?
But that's not the intent here.
Interestingly, Old Testament scholars say: noticed The present tense verb in Proverbs 31 has the function of conveying the past tense or whole action, so she is not doing all the things listed at the same time. This chapter provides a resume of the Proverbs 31 woman's past experience, rather than a current job description. King Lemuel's mother, the author of Proverbs 31, teaches her son what kind of woman he should marry. It is a person who works hard and serves the Lord with excellence. She does not name any particular woman and exaggerates her myriad abilities. Not at all.
To all ambitious mothers
At the beginning of my single life, I felt that if I had a “career” it would send a signal to potential men that I wasn't interested in starting a family. I believed the lie that pursuing a full-time career would somehow distance me from that life because it might seem like I was prioritizing work over having a future family.
But by pursuing what God has called me to do by working hard, learning new skills, immersing myself in church and community, and striving to develop my character, I met my husband and became a God. This opened the door for me to utilize the gifts given to me in motherhood.
It determines the habits we build, the skills we develop, and the people we become after marriage. Living a couch potato life attached to a man is far from what God intended for us. If being a stay-at-home mom one day is your top priority, working hard and learning as much as you can while single will prepare you for marriage and motherhood. There are many skills that can be applied, such as time management and handling money.
I believe that every woman should have some form of livelihood before getting married and starting a family.
For moms who stay at home full time
In contrast to the above, there is no pressure to build a full-time “career” at another time in your life.
The choice to stay home full-time to raise and educate your children (which has become a popular choice for many mothers) is worthy and noble. My mother stayed home full time with me and my siblings, as did my stepmother and most of the mothers I grew up with.
For those who have done this well, it's no walk in the park. Managing a home, educating children, and everything in between can be more exhausting than going to work full time. But if this is what we choose to do, we will take advantage of all the skills and gifts we have, apply them to our home, and do it with utmost excellence. We should strive to do so.
Many full-time stay-at-home moms I know even want to try their hand at side hustles like tutoring, piano teaching, blogging, etc., to use their skills to earn extra income.
God tells us in 1 Peter 4:10-11, “Each of you, as faithful stewards of the various forms of God’s grace, should use all the gifts you have received to serve others. He gave us the command to use it for our purposes.
So, as mothers, we are called to use our talents and gifts, whether it's full-time mothering or homeschooling. Master of cooking. Become an education expert. Try to create a peaceful atmosphere in your home.
The principles are: We, like the woman in Proverbs 31, must strive to honor the Lord in all kinds of work that He has commanded us to do faithfully and with excellence.
No matter what, you should never approach your calling half-heartedly. We need to strive to master it.
For mothers who work full time
We don't have to feel guilty about working full time outside the home either. Our primary mission is to use the gifts God has given us to build strong character and acquire skill sets – building our own version of a Proverbs 31 resume.
However, work should not take precedence over family. There are also situations in which a mother working full time outside the home is the best way to serve her family, as long as she is clear about her priorities and upfront about her motivations.
When you put your career on a pedestal and stake your identity on it, that's when you need to reorder your priorities.
The woman in Proverbs 31 has a job, runs a business, and “plants vineyards with her proceeds” (v. 16). She found another way to invest her profits. We don't know if the woman in Proverbs 31 was running a business while feeding children under the age of three (highly doubtful), but that doesn't really matter. The important thing is that whatever we do, we must do it well and honor God with our work. Verse 13 says, “He is working diligently.” As mothers, we should follow God's teachings and be willing to work.
Whether we are aspiring mothers, stay-at-home moms, or work full-time while juggling children, our highest calling is the one God has given us. It is about honoring and glorifying God by using our gifts to serve and work for the good of others and God. Kingdom.
