There’s a Hollywood myth that says, “Don’t work with kids or animals.” What was it like working with Zach and Buster, the two dogs who play Colin?
Patrick Bramall: It’s great. The roles they play are not unreasonable. They are always the most professional actors on set.
Harriet Dyer: They’re the kind of nice guys you’d find in a supermarket. In one episode, Patty manipulates a dog’s mouth to imitate a funny accent and the dog is left alone for like 20 minutes. I would have bitten it.
What was your most embarrassing encounter with a celebrity?
PB: I saw Ewan McGregor in LA. I wanted to go up to him and tell him that I started riding bikes because I saw Long Way Around. Now I love bikes. But when I tapped him on the shoulder, I realized I’d made the wrong decision. I said, “Hey, I just want to tell you something…” and started rambling on about bikes. And he turned away! I just walked away. Because what did he care? I was just a white guy saying, “Now there’s a Thruxton!”
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done for love?
PB: We got married, had a baby, and did a show all at the same time. It’s pretty weird.
HD: I don’t recommend it.
PB: It’s going well, but it’s quite strange. It’s not natural for us to do all this stuff together.
HD: I remember in seventh grade I really liked this boy named Nick. Nickelodeon had this song: [sings] “Nickelodeon Nation“What? I was swinging around the pole singing, ‘Nickelodeon Nation, I love Nick. Nick loves me, Nickelodeon Nation.’ I was hoping he’d realize I was singing about him. It was so awful. He just walked away and I was left there swinging on this little pole.
PB: [pityingly] Ah, mate.
What do you do when you can’t sleep?
HD: This might sound silly, but I literally count sheep that jump the fence. [complete silence] Is there no one else? Am I a psycho?
PB: No one else! I just toss and turn until I fall asleep.
HD: I fall asleep quickly. Whenever Patty comes into bed with me, she always asks me if I look pretty.
PB: She always does.
HD: How cute did I look last night?
PB: You’re so cute. Looking at you keeps me up.
What is the best advice you have ever received?
HD: My grandmother Joan said, “What’s for you never stays out of you.” And that’s always been true. You can’t poke a hole in it.
PB: Sorry, I’m making this up. There’s nothing.
HD: Your wife told you three weeks ago to “use eye cream”?
PB: That was very good advice, and it’s paying dividends tonight.
What is the ideal length for men’s shorts?
PB: I don’t think this is something that’s been talked about much. Thanks for bringing it up. Let’s do that. [stands up and gestures mid-thigh] I think short shorts will come back for men.
HD: You should wear it more, it’s a nice pin. There was a guy in Townsville who ran an ice cream van, and his shorts were a little shorter than that, and he had no underwear on. And when he said, “Do you want to wear nuts in there?” it was a close call. I hope they arrest him.
PB: I hope he’s not selling ice cream to kids yet.
If there was a sandwich named after you, what would it be in?
HD: Salami, olive tapenade, mozzarella, mushrooms. It’s basically like a Capriccio pizza. You might throw in some capers or anchovies for a salt attack.
PB: Sharp cheddar, tomato, mustard and Branston pickles on sourdough bread. A bit of a farmer vibe.
HD: Maybe you want to eat boiled eggs.
PB: What on earth are you talking about?
Do you have any party tips?
PB: I can juggle.
HD: On the dance floor, which I probably can’t tell you about. With cats.
PB: Oh yeah. No, no.
HD: He does some intense pantomime. He doesn’t do it at parties anymore. I’m pretty good at karaoke and have a decent voice.
What songs do you often sing at karaoke?
HD: I’d love to hear “All I Want for Christmas Is You” any time of the year.
PB: My favorite song to sing at karaoke is “The Confrontation” from Les Miserables.
HD: A guy singing musical numbers at karaoke needs help.
PB: He’s a cool guy.
Who would you like to see play you in your biopic?
PB: Ryan Reynolds. And it’s a big-budget movie.
HD: Oh. Carey Mulligan? Maybe someone even more interesting. Natalie Portman, because we’re so similar. Actually, Scarlett Johansson, we get confused all the time. No, we’re not. Olivia Colman. If you see this, Olivia, do it with me, babes.
