The other morning I woke up feeling hungover, even with a hangover. Note to yourself. Going out for “casual” drinks with your ex-boyfriend is never a wise idea. Oops.
The entire day was wasted in bed. The headache is ticking, the fatigue is ticking, and the strange feeling of alertness is ticking.
This last feeling was further fueled by a message from her ex-boyfriend: “You looked so hot last night.''
Good morning, this is Libido.
As I lay there, in a cloud of sordid thoughts, a short question popped into my head – am I the only one who gets incredibly horny the morning after drinking too many cocktails?
Later that afternoon, I was in a dark pub with some friends sipping elixirs (Bloody Marys) and started asking around. As it turns out, I wasn't the only one experiencing this “hangover horn.”
I mistakenly thought that only men (and for some reason myself) feel it the next day.
I know I'm a little biased, but let's be honest. Even in the heat of battle, men may still be able to fight if they wink and nod like in the old days.
So, I was pleasantly relieved to discover that my female friends also found that hungover horns are common after a fun night out. Honestly, the answer was 100% yes.
One friend admitted that her orgasms feel even more intense when she's hungover. Well, me too.
Another friend joked that her body was telling her that she was dying and must regenerate quickly to avoid extinction. In other words, it's dramatic but insightful.
I was interested in this phenomenon, so I decided to look into the science a little more closely. I found that research supported my experience. Huzza – Turns out we’re all hungover hornbags after all.
But before I get into the scientific reasoning, let me tell you my theory.
I think it's possible that you're feeling rough because you're still feeling aroused from the night before. The night we practically gave ourselves blue balls (can girls get blue balls?) with the outrageous amount of flirting we partook in without any follow-through. Reliving the back-and-forth banter, flirtatious glances, and saucy innuendo makes our hearts swell.
But science shows that one of the main reasons we feel the way we do is due to dopamine. Yep, those cheeky little neurotransmitters responsible for joy and motivation.
When you drink too much, your body's dopamine stores are depleted and you find yourself the next morning desperately trying to get your dopamine back to healthy levels.
Our bodies are sending us the message that sex equals dopamine, so why not give it a try?Sassy, sassy body.
Another reason is abnormally high cortisol levels. This hormone regulates our stress response and plays a major role in the “fatigue'' we feel the next day. When cortisol levels are high (thanks to alcohol), we feel so anxious that we'll do anything to distract ourselves from bad thoughts. What could be a better pastime than sex? Therefore, it is urgently needed.
Finally, you may be experiencing a “hangover horn” as alcohol from the night before may still be in your system, making you feel sexually adventurous.
Anyone who has ever woken up next to someone they really shouldn't have slept with knows this all too well.
Sure, hydrolysates, aspirin, or Bloody Marys may help in the short term, but what if curling up in the hay turns out to be the ultimate hangover cure?
This week's to-do list is sorted – find a boyfriend (or unbox the vibrator). Because no one wants to suffer another hangover without having an orgasm. no one.
To be honest, Gandhi had no use for my advice.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of the boyfriend variety. @jana_hocking
