‘Transformers: Rise of the Beasts’ review: Annoying robo-flop

Everyone knew it long ago. Optimus is well past its prime.

The first Transformers movie in 2007 starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox was flirtatious enough. The next four were horrible. And 2018’s stunning Bumblebee gave us hope that there’s still gasoline left in the series.

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Running time: 127 minutes. PG-13 designation in theaters (sci-fi action, violence, and intense sequences of language).

error! The fuel gauge is on “E” (meaning intolerable). The seventh installment in the series, Transformers: Rise of the Beast, is a predictable return to rock-and-silly absurdity, adding nothing more than Michelle Yeoh playing a talking aluminum falcon.

“Transformers” is a misnomer. These movies never change anything. Once again, the noble insensitive Autobots are back, but this time, whatever they are, they’re parked in 1994 New York City following the events of “Bumblebee.”

As usual, a likable young man (Anthony Ramos played by Noah Diaz) discovers that his Porsche is actually an intelligent robot that mysteriously speaks wise words in American slang. noticed and shocked.

The bot in this case is Mirage, who suddenly declares “I am an alien!”

Elena (Dominic Fishback) and Noah (Anthony Ramos) join the Autobots.
© Paramount/Courtesy Everett Collection

Led by Optimus Prime, the Autobots task a Brooklynian, who is trying to make money through sometimes criminal means to pay for his brother’s cancer treatment, with the task of stealing a “transwarp key” from a museum. -Disrespecting an art expert named Elena Wallace (Dominic Fishback).

Thanks to the transwarp key, the Autobots who have been left behind on Earth for seven years will finally be able to return to their home planet. But wouldn’t it be sweet if it fell into the hands of an evil terrorist conspiracy! — bad guys could destroy an infinite number of worlds. Noah and Elena must stop them.

The terrorist con is led by Scourge (apparently Peter Dinklage), who also needs the key to bring back his boss, Unicron. This sentence says everything there is to know about this brain blow.

Scourge (voiced by Peter Dinklage) and Terror Conn fight the Autobots. "Transformers: Rise of the Beast."
In “Transformers: Rise of the Beast”, Scourge (voiced by Peter Dinklage) and Terroron battle the Autobots.
© Paramount/Courtesy Everett Collection

Everything ‘Transformers’ really does is tops in itself when it comes to new vehicles and breathtaking chase scenes, just like the ‘Fast and Furious’ series. The plot is never engaging and the characters are cartoony. Filmmakers don’t get the job done with the cool factor. Like “Fast X”, “Rise of the Beasts” is nothing new or impressive.

About these overpowering beasts: We introduce the Maximals, but we’re introduced to even more robotic aliens that look like birds, gorillas (named Optimus Primal), and cheetahs. They hide in the mountains of Peru, the only filming location for a generic movie directed by Stephen Caple Jr.

The Maximals’ influence is minimal, functioning only as more steel rods in the mud, speaking in a narrator’s whisper and with a vague mission.

The final scene introduces partnerships with toy franchises like the Hasbro Cinematic Universe. Maybe we should let the terrorists destroy the planet after all.

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