Vanessa Williams is reflecting on some tough moments from her past.
In a new interview, Williams, the first black woman to win the title of Miss America, spoke about the nude photo scandal that rocked her world and ultimately led to her resignation.
“There was a lot of responsibility, pressure and humiliation. [and] “Judgment,” she said People Magazine“I took on all this at 21 years old. It was a global thing. You can fail quietly, but that was a global failure.”
Former Miss America Vanessa Williams returns to pageant after 30 years
Vanessa Williams reflects on her 1980s nude photo scandal. (Getty Images/Everett Collection)
In her 20s, while working as a receptionist for a photographer at a modeling agency in New York City, Williams posed nude knowing that the photos would only be published in silhouette. But shortly after being crowned Miss America in 1984, the model and mother of four learned that the images had been sold to Penthouse magazine.
Reflecting on this difficult time, Williams said she can now be “forgiving” to herself.
“I look back at myself at 19 and 20 years old and think, ‘How naive, trusting and vulnerable I was,'” she told the outlet. “In my mind, I think, ‘I’m older, I know what I’m doing.’ I forgive myself now, but as a young adult, I blame myself, thinking, ‘I should have known better.'”
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Vanessa Williams was crowned Miss America in 1984. (Getty Images)
Williams, who is taking on Meryl Streep’s role as Miranda Priestly in London’s upcoming musical The Devil Wears Prada, said her four adult children often wonder how she managed to survive such a traumatic event.
“They’re all older than I am now, but compared to their lives, the fact that I became famous at 20 years old, the death threats I received, the huge hurdles I had to overcome and the impact that had,” she said.
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“[They’re like] ‘Wow, Mom, how did you get through all of this at 20 years old?’ And then I look back at my 20-year-old self and I say, ‘Oh, I was just a baby.'”
The former beauty pageant queen is the mother of four adult children. (Getty Images)
In 2016, the award-winning actress and singer returned to the competition as the pageant’s head judge.
Sam Haskell, president and CEO of the Miss America Association, said his friendship with Williams began long before the photo scandal.
“I have been friends with Vanessa for 32 years,” he told The Associated Press ahead of her return in 2015. “When the photos were made public, there were those who urged her to fight, but close supporters knew that if she lost that fight she would be completely erased from history. Vanessa has decided to step down and focus on her career instead of continuing what will undoubtedly be a long and stressful legal battle. The aftermath of her resignation has left Vanessa and her family hurt and I am saddened.”
Haskell had been trying for 10 years to bring Williams back to the Miss America stage, but 2016 was the first year she felt ready.
Vanessa Williams has built a hugely successful career despite setbacks. (Everett Collection)
“Vanessa’s career speaks for itself, with the success she has had,” Haskell said. “When I became president of Miss America, one of the first things I called Vanessa to try and find a way to return. Her hugely successful return allows us all to put bygones in the past and move forward. I am truly honored to have her return to the Miss America Pageant.”
Throughout her career, Williams has received three Emmy Award nominations, one Tony Award nomination, seven NAACP Image Awards, and four Satellite Awards, and in 2007 she received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
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The Associated Press contributed to this report.
