My journey to becoming a homeschool mom was a strange one. I loved public school. After college, I became a teacher at my high school and was very involved in school life.
When Josh and I got married and had our first son five years into my career as an educator, in my head I assumed he would attend public school, that he would love learning and books just like Josh and I did. Parents might be laughing at this.
Don’t try to recreate public school at home. Educating your child doesn’t require eight hours of desk time a day, and most states only require a few hours of instruction each day.
As they approached school age, I knew with all my heart that I wanted my children to be educated at home. After we made that decision, people who knew me at the time must have thought I was either brainwashed or crazy.
You too may be feeling that call and asking yourself, “Now, what?”
My previous profession has helped me in some ways, but don’t think that you need to get a degree in education to teach children – it’s not the case. do But before you begin, here’s what you need to know.
How can I homeschool without going to jail?
First of all, it’s about the law. You need to know what the laws are in your state so you can comply with them and know when someone is asking for more than the law requires.
It may sound scary, but there is help available to you. Homeschool Legal Defense Association An invaluable resource, simplified, A breakdown of state homeschool lawsPay close attention to detail and deadlines – you can never be too careful in this area.
In many states, your only option is to register as a homeschooling family with your local school board, and you will be responsible for providing any documentation the school board requests, including curriculum choices, medical records, grades, etc.
In Tennessee, there is an option for “umbrella schools.” Just like private schools, you enroll your child in an umbrella school, but most umbrella schools don’t teach classes. Instead, you pay a small yearly fee and the umbrella school helps you with the paperwork. We do this at Aaron Academy (Taylor Swift is a graduateAnother option in Tennessee is Farm School.
Look for similar options in your state. It’s worth the money. We pay $80 a year to Aaron Academy and the only paperwork we have to submit is our grades at the end of each semester.
How do I choose a curriculum?
Once you are legally registered with your state, you will need to choose a curriculum to teach your child. Coming from a public school background, I thought I had a good understanding of how many curriculum options there are out there. But I was so wrong. There are thousands of curriculum options, so prepare yourself for too much.
Cathy Duffy was a valuable source of information about various curriculum options and without it, I would have felt lost in the early days of homeschooling.
Some of the most popular homeschool curricula:
Many of these are Christian themed because most homeschoolers are Christian. We are Christians, but we don’t use these. We take the road less traveled, which I will explain in a future post. But secular curriculum is not hard to find.
The benefit is that we can choose the curriculum for each subject ourselves to fit our child’s needs. Some states are fussy about the curriculum, so again, look into the details here in more detail. Thankfully, neither the state of Tennessee nor Aaron Academy are too picky about the curriculum we use, so we’re free to choose whatever we like.
The downside is that you may spend a lot of money on an expensive curriculum only to find that your child doesn’t respond at all. For example, when my son was in first grade, we did Saxon Math for three months. He hated it, so we switched to Singapore Math.
Many homeschoolers have this problem, which is why curriculum fairs exist: homeschoolers get together to buy, sell, and trade curricula. If you’re on a budget or want to try a few before deciding on the best one, curriculum fairs are a great option to browse, preview, and buy at a discount.
This to me is one of the best things about homeschooling – we can change what we need when we need to. If you try out a curriculum and don’t like it, throw it out and try again, unless prohibited by your state.
How do I fill my school day?
Don’t try to recreate public school at home! Educating a child doesn’t require eight hours of desk time a day — most states only require a few hours of classroom time each day.
Yes, we sit down and do formal lessons almost every day, but learning happens all the time in organic ways too — for example, a trip to the grocery store is a math lesson, a reading lesson, and sometimes a social studies lesson.
But my kids will not be socialized!
I hear this all the time from skeptical friends, family, and online snoops, but it’s nonsense. My kids go everywhere with me. They’re learning how to interact with people of all ages and types from all over the world. It’s also a good answer to any “socialization” question grandma inevitably asks.
In fact, I would argue that homeschooled kids are better socialized than public school kids, who spend all day with other kids. Would you rather instill in your child other kids or mature adults?
Not to brag, but everywhere we go we get compliments on how well-behaved our kids are. It always surprises me, because we don’t think our kids are particularly well-behaved. Part of that is because we hold them to our standards, but part of it is because kids spend so much more time with adults than children do, so they tend to behave more like adults than children.
Can homeschooled kids play with other kids? And how can I teach them things they don’t know?
Thankfully, both of these questions have the same answer.
You don’t have to do everything yourself. Look for classes that allow you to outsource the things you can’t do at home. I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler, so I drive to a museum once a week to take an art class. I can teach my kids piano and a few other instruments, but I can’t give them the experience of singing in a choir at home. We are a homeschool family, but we’re not the von Trapp family.
This is where homeschool co-ops (often called “tutorials”) come in.
Once a week, I take my kids to a school run by the parents of the kids who attend. It’s in a big church so there’s lots of space for different activities. The kids have choir, gym, literature class (I wish I was a student in the literature class because the teacher is so creative), and science class taught by a former engineer.
Homeschool co-ops are a great way to make friends, but cost and availability vary, so look for one that’s within your budget and available in your area. Our co-op is about $80 per child per month, which is inexpensive for a private school. I offset the cost by teaching drama classes.
Social media is a great way to connect with other people in your area who you are already connected to and to get more information about what is out there to fill in any gaps in your information. If this isn’t possible for your family, YouTube is also full of educational materials and lessons. Here’s one great example: John Muir Rose’s Painting Lessonswhich is really great for older kids and parents too.
What about sports?
Sports are one of the reasons parents don’t pull their children out of mainstream school even if they want to, and depending on where you live, some states allow homeschooled children to participate in public school sports.
In some cases, school districts are free to decide whether or not homeschooled students can try out for local public school sports teams.
Our homeschool co-op offers team sports such as boys basketball, girls volleyball, and boys and girls soccer. Teams compete against other co-ops and some private schools. Much like public school team sports.
There are recreational leagues and traveling teams that can take the place of traditional school teams (if you have the time). My oldest son plays Little League baseball but also dabbles in recreational league soccer and junior pro basketball. He takes horseback riding lessons in the spring and taekwondo after Little League is over. There’s no shortage of sports options.
One child in our homeschool co-op received a full baseball scholarship through college but only played travel baseball. If sports are important to your child, there are ways to make it happen.
The homeschool world is also home to many competitions where homeschooled children gather for a variety of academic, artistic, and athletic competitions. Our oldest son recently attended his first junior tournament and competed in the following events:
- 100 Yard Sprint
- basketball
- Choir
- chess
- photograph
- Soccer kick
He could have also competed in metalworking, woodworking, poetry, recitation and many other disciplines.
Thanks to homeschooling and overall resourcefulness, we are able to give our children a well-rounded education that is usually only available to the wealthy.
Where can I go for help?
You need a mentor to guide you and help you avoid burnout.
Find someone who is experienced and who will let you free your mind and ask all the very specific questions that will inevitably arise. The comprehensive school we use, Aaron Academy, has a room full of fairy grannies who are always available to answer my questions.
Check social media for parent-teacher associations in your area. Find a support network for you and your family. Make friends with other homeschool families in your area.
Having a group of people who understand the life you’re living, who can listen and help you celebrate your successes, is essential to your mental health, because non-homeschooling friends and family often don’t know how to support you (or don’t want to).
There are also lots of ways to connect online. One of my favorite Facebook groups is Just Motherhood — a group of moms to ask questions, get support with problems, and laugh at their kids’ silly antics. It was a great group, and one of the few reasons I still have a Facebook account.
a Version of this essay Originally published on Unprepared.life
