When I first learned about percentages, my dad explained them to me through a family tree.
“I’m half German, half Scottish, and half French. Mamasa Finn. So 25% German, 12.5% Scottish, 12.5% French, and 50% Finnish. It will be.”
“51%, Finn!” my mother yelled from the other room. As usual, mom was right.
Decades later, my two brothers ordered a kit from 23andMe to verify family lore. Both reports were identical and showed a scientifically verified Finnish rate of 51%. When I was asked to take the test, I hesitated. They were already validating what we know from tradition. (And I’m cheap.)
More importantly, the whole DNA testing business seemed a little wrong. I didn’t want to store my genetic code in a database. What happens if a security breach occurs, but not if? What happens if the company goes bankrupt? Or what if the CEO wants to enhance his quarterly report by selling the information to the highest bidder? maybe. Governments may request access.
Over ten years ago, my brother discovered that what I thought was common knowledge was a conspiracy theory. Not so much today.
Thanks to weak privacy laws and Patriot Act gag orders, no one knows how much genetic code already exists in federal databases.
23andMe promotes itself as a full-spectrum wellness product, rather than just tracking key elements of ethnicity and family tree. When a customer spits into the tube, the company spits out their carrier status, personal characteristics, and even their health action plan. We also test for physical predispositions such as Parkinson’s disease, type 2 diabetes, and celiac disease.
I’m glad you were satisfied with the family tradition. In October, 23andMe notified users about a security breach that occurred five months ago. In December, the company reluctantly disclosed the extent of the damage. Hackers stole information about about 7 million customers and posted it online. They accessed approximately 14,000 profiles and were given backdoor access to millions more.
Lawsuits are piling up, but the bottom has fallen on Wall Street. 23andMe reached a high of $6 billion, but has since crashed 98% and is now on the brink of delisting. As of this writing, the company’s stock price is $0.734. This underlying valuation is more in line with the reality facing once-hyped technology companies.
23andMe has never made a profit in its 16 years of existence. Still, CEO Anne Wojcicki doubled her workforce in 2019 and paid herself $33 million two years later.
This story differs markedly from your usual tech boondoggle, thanks to 23andMe’s powerful bioinformatics products. In 2018, GlaxoSmithKline paid him $300 million for access to 23andMe’s unique database.
Then there are federal authorities. Will a well-connected Silicon Valley tycoon turn down an urgent request from Washington to “defend” his homeland and democracy? Thanks to weak privacy laws and Patriot Act gag orders, no one knows how much genetic code already exists in federal databases. Back in 2019, a smaller competitor, FamilyTreeDNA, admitted to sharing information with federal authorities.
Given the company’s shaky financial situation and more shaky ethics, we cannot rule out the possibility that other data breaches were hidden or carried out by foreign actors. If 23andMe disbands, you may be wondering where your data goes. In the April breach alone, the attackers have already carefully compiled the profiles of more than 1 million Ashkenazi Jews into a public list.
Large, loosely protected genetic databases are invaluable bioinformatics products. In the age of the Wuhan-created virus and the government’s frantic response to it, there is no limit to the mischief that bureaucrats can create. There is no doubt that companies and NGOs will be using data to promote their products and messages for years to come.
All because people decided that family lore and tradition were insufficient as a basis for their identity. The root of 23andMe’s problems is not technology, greed, or political overreach, but the desire of consumers to find purpose and meaning in their saliva. Measuring a double helix using a CPU shares the same spirit as measuring a skull using calipers. Neophrenology establishes our self-esteem based on scientific analysis of physical characteristics.
The things that make us human and give us infinite value can never be measured by big data or algorithms. Mom was right.
