Dear Abby:
My daughter has been married to her high school sweetheart for 15 years, and honestly, it hasn’t been easy. Their marriage has been fraught with issues from the beginning, mainly because her husband has this overwhelming “God” complex. He’s spoiled, he lies constantly, and it’s caused chaos for his own family and nearly tore ours apart. He didn’t treat his late parents well, and after they passed away, his bullying turned toward us. I ended up being his primary target.
As someone who’s built a career in business, I’ve always maintained my professionalism. But, he can’t manipulate me like he does with others, so he resorts to demeaning me, mocking me, and using nasty language and aggressive behavior at every turn. I really tried to make things work—I was a caring mother and grandmother to his kids. My daughter is unable to stand up for me, and my husband is helpless too. Honestly, I’m at a point where I might have to give up my relationship with my daughter and grandchildren just to get away from this nightmare. Counseling has provided me with emotional tools, but they don’t seem to apply when I’m facing the reality of the situation. What should I do, Abby? – A broken heart in New England
Dear Heartbreak:
Your step-son’s behavior is abusive, and it may even lean towards misogyny. The example he sets is toxic, and it’s troubling for any child to grow up thinking that kind of behavior is normal. It might be time for your daughter to reevaluate her relationship and consider separating from him. If that’s possible, perhaps you could have a one-on-one conversation with her. To maintain some form of connection with your grandchild, it might be best to let her facilitate that. Additionally, if you’re willing, it may be wise to consult with a lawyer about safeguarding your assets from his influence.
Dear Abby:
My stepdaughter has surgery scheduled in a few weeks and needs to take some time off work. When she approached the principal for permission, he pressed her to disclose the nature of her surgery. She initially said it was personal, but he kept harassing her until she finally revealed it was a female-related procedure. She felt embarrassed. I told her that his actions weren’t appropriate and that it might be illegal for him to ask such questions (HIPAA violations). Her contract allows personal leave for situations like this. How should she deal with this? – Leave to the east
Dear Roa:
I feel your stepdaughter has stood her ground as best as she could in this scenario. Understand that the principal overstepped his boundaries; his actions were both ethically and morally wrong. If he had a valid reason for needing details concerning her leave, he could have requested a note from her doctor without prying into her personal matters. If her emotional wellbeing has been impacted by his harassment, she may want to reach out to an attorney.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was originally established by her mother, Pauline Phillips. You can reach out to Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
