A woman ignited a fierce debate online after questioning whether it was acceptable to skip monthly dinners with her husband’s family, citing her disdain for her stepmother’s cooking. She mentioned on a subreddit, “I’m an A–hole,” that her mother-in-law only prepares Chinese dishes, which she really doesn’t enjoy.
At 23, she described her relationship with her stepmother as rocky and noted that there had been some passive-aggressive behavior from her stepmother over the years. When she tackled her dislike of Chinese cuisine previously, her stepmother had made disrespectful comments to other relatives.
This Sunday, it was her mother-in-law’s turn to cook again, and she expressed her dilemma. “I feel like I’ll never get on her good side, so I think it’s better if I just skip it altogether to avoid conflict,” she shared.
Seeking advice, she turned to Reddit to ask if it was wrong to avoid dinner with the family. Responses poured in, with many users leaning toward calling her the A–hole. One user pointedly remarked, “You don’t need to demand she cook something different.” Another advised her to attend, eat a bit, and keep her preferences to herself, suggesting she could even grab a burger beforehand if need be.
Some commenters accused her of being unreasonable regarding Chinese food. “There are always options, like fried vegetables with rice,” one pointed out. Others stressed that these family dinners might be less about the food and more about nurturing relationships. “Consider that these gatherings are a chance to mend fences,” someone suggested.
Despite mixed opinions, there were sympathizers too, with one saying, “It’s okay to not want to be around people who treat you poorly.” As long as her husband was okay with her decision, she shouldn’t feel guilty, another remarked. Jackie Pirasoff, a former advice columnist, suggested that it’s alright to skip dinners occasionally but recommended attending every few months as part of family commitment.
