Dear Abby

I’m 54 and already experiencing ageism. Some of my neighbors, who are in their 30s and 40s, make age-related comments aimed at me. They don’t really know me; they just happen to live in my building. One day, I wore my brand new purple winter coat—a gift from a best friend. A woman complimented the coat but added, “I didn’t know you could wear something like that at your age.” I felt offended but chose to stay quiet.

Then, there was another instance in the elevator. A young couple rode down as I was coming back from a mountain bike ride. The man remarked, “A lovely bike! I didn’t think anyone your age would ride a mountain bike.” His girlfriend covered her mouth, and everyone laughed. Again, I kept my silence.

Abby, I find myself tuning them out by diving into my headphones and focusing on music while I’m in the elevator or common areas. Do you have any good comebacks for these ageist comments? I prefer not to react because I value my dignity and personal growth. Should I continue to stay silent? What do you suggest? – Growing old gracefully

Dear Growing Old Gracefully

At 54, you’re far from past your prime. I’ve seen active, accomplished, and attractive people in their 70s and 80s. You’re not going to change the behavior of young people who lack class, so it’s best to manage your reactions. Next time, when they throw out a comment about your age, perhaps wish them luck reaching that age someday. And then just keep walking or riding your bike without looking back.

Dear Abby

I have a neighbor who lets his young son ride a fast motorcycle around our streets without a helmet. The boy seems to be about 8 years old.

His father rides as well, so it surprises me that he allows this. Every time I see it, I feel angry and worried for the child and my own kids.

I’m nearly ready to call child protection services. Is this illegal? What should I do as a responsible adult? – A scary neighbor

Dear Scary Neighbor

Have you expressed your concerns to the boy’s father? If you feel your concerns are being ignored, it’s worth checking your state’s laws regarding helmet requirements for minors (only 13 states don’t mandate them).

Research online to see if a helmet is required in your area. If you find that it is and the father resists, you might need to contact child protection services.

This may seem extreme, but it reminds me of a conversation I had with someone from an organ donation organization.

I once asked who the “ideal” organ donor was. Their reply shocked me. They said, “A 19-year-old man riding a motorcycle.” It’s important to realize that the organs of younger children are equally valuable, if not more.