“Heterosexual pessimism” has become quite the hot topic, with female writers lamenting the current state of heterosexual relationships. TikTok users are also getting in on the action, highlighting tensions between men and women.
As noted by New York Magazine, there’s a buzz around Professor Wharton’s recent work, which seems to advocate a rather bleak perspective on heterosexuality. Some are questioning whether we really need to be more negative, like the article “Economists’ views on heteropessimism” suggests.
Colin Roe, an Associate Professor of Business Economics, stirred conversation while promoting her book, “Having It All: What Data Tells U About Women’s Life and Getting the Most Out of Yours.” She made a quip to New York Magazine, saying she wasn’t “physically disgusted with men,” but was “socially and politically disgusted,” mentioning her decision to date women after her divorce was based on logic more than feelings.
Recently, she’s taken a more analytical approach. When speaking to the London Times, she explained that choosing to date women was strategic—“I didn’t have time to filter [men].” She insists that, as economists say, we should maximize our outcomes.
Some believe romance is, well, dead; perhaps it’s just transformed into something else.
The discourse raises concerns about how many wives now manage their husbands more like employees instead of equal partners. A 2025 study she references suggests that straight wives still handle most of the housework, regardless of their incomes.
Lowe seems to be calling for a mass reconsideration of marriage, suggesting that promoting lesbianism might ultimately pressure men to step up. “I want them to think: if I can’t be a good partner, I could end up alone,” she states, pointing to the need for more serious consequences.
Her comments have undoubtedly garnered attention, though Lowe now claims her statements were humorously exaggerated.
“I shared my personal experience in a light-hearted way, but I worry it didn’t resonate as intended,” she reflected. “I wanted to touch on the messy nature of heterosexuality, where women take on new roles while men’s roles seem stagnant.”
Maybe I’m just not in tune with the humor of the younger generation.
Still, plenty of women seem to be hopping onto the “no men” trend without reservations. A July article in the New York Times characterized heterosexual marriage as a thankless task, almost akin to maintaining a household.
Young women on TikTok have embraced a strong “no-boys” philosophy, viewing men as toxic. They advocate for rules like “no dating apps, no dates,” and so on.
Yet, this negative view can detract from constructive discussions about dating. Blaming one gender entirely overlooks the complexities we face today. Issues like dating apps and evolving gender roles certainly complicate dating, but it’s a one-sided approach to place all blame on men.
For young men, the incel narrative paints women as the villains, while some extreme movements among women advocate against dating or having any interaction with men at all.
This discourse often spirals into blame, preventing both genders from reflecting on how they might improve for each other.
While it may seem trendy to view men as toxins or write them off altogether, such attitudes won’t help us find a new way forward in romantic relationships.
