Dear Abby: Eight years ago, I ended my engagement with Anthony, after 30 years together, because he wrongfully accused me of infidelity—a thing I would never do. Throughout our time together, he frequently hurt me with his remarks and insecurities. Despite this, he still keeps in touch with my family through his daughter and grandson, which I find unsettling.
Recently, I traveled back home to visit my family. Coincidentally, it was also the day of my niece’s 40th birthday party, and I was completely taken aback since no one knew I was coming. But soon, I would learn that not all surprises are good.
During lunch, my sister, the other aunt, turned to me and announced, “I need to tell you something, but I don’t want to discuss it further. Anthony and I are dating.” You can imagine my shock. Not only did she spoil my niece’s celebration, but I also feel a deep sense of betrayal from her.
I’ve expressed my feelings to her through text and email, but she hasn’t replied. Right now, I don’t want to engage with her at all. It feels like she’s more interested in his finances, but dating your sister’s ex—well, that seems like a breach of the “sister code.” What should I do? — Sisters Betrayed in Wyoming
Dear Betrayed Sister: Your situation certainly sounds complicated. I hope your sister’s new “relationship” treats her better than yours did, because from what you’ve described about your ex, that could be tough. It seems, unfortunately, that the “sister code” can get easily overlooked when money is in play.
Dear Abby: I’ve been married to my wife, originally from Africa, for 8 years, and we have a one-year-old daughter together. I’m white, and she’s black, with a notable age difference—29 years younger than me. She was brought up not to celebrate Christmas, claiming it connects to pagan rituals and devil worship. She doesn’t want our daughter exposed to these ideas, despite living in the U.S., where Christmas is a cherished tradition that unites people.
My wife is unwilling to budge on this issue and is contemplating leaving me over it. I’m starting to feel as if she believes there will be no repercussions for her actions. Should I be seeking a divorce lawyer? — Texas Traditionalist
Dear Traditionalist: Your wife genuinely believes she is protecting your child by avoiding Christmas. I couldn’t find any clear ties linking paganism to the core of Christmas itself. Instead of rushing into legal steps, consider seeking a marriage counselor or a religious leader from her cultural background.
