Dear Abby: Marriage Struggles and Family Dynamics

Dear Abby, there’s a saying, “No man is an island.” But honestly, I think that’s not applicable to my situation. My husband, who has become increasingly impatient with everyone, including his own family, has always been a bit negative. Over the years, it seems to have worsened significantly. In the last 15 years, he’s pushed away most of his friends, and it’s gotten to the point where he walks away from them in public.

Sure, lots of people nowadays seem narcissistic, but I guess we have to endure some of that behavior. I’m not the most social person myself, yet his rudeness has reached a tipping point. Our social life? It’s practically nonexistent. I wonder if he might be dealing with depression, especially since he’s on several medications. It’s exhausting for me, and to be honest, I worry that I might drown in this situation. Any advice would be appreciated. — It may go down

Dear everyone, it sounds like your husband is facing significant mental health challenges. It might be worth discussing this with his doctor. He may benefit from different medications or even talk therapy. You should also consider talking to someone about your own feelings. After all, nothing will improve unless you take some proactive steps.

Dear Abby, I’ve been seeing a man for two and a half years. He’s divorced, and I’m a widow. We get along well and share many interests. However, my 31-year-old daughter treats me very disrespectfully. He has told me it’s not just me; she behaves this way with any of his partners.

As the holidays approach, I shared our plans with him. He mentioned that for the last couple of years, his ex-wife and daughter have been leading most family gatherings—and that I wasn’t invited to Christmas Eve dinner. I don’t want to control the situation like his ex does, but I feel it’s important for us to be included as a couple.

Right now, he’s uncertain about how to proceed. He’s trying to mend his relationship with his daughter, but I have my doubts it’ll get better until she acknowledges his new partner.

I really hope for this relationship to flourish. We’re discussing the possibility of living together and even marriage, but I wonder if I should hold off on that until things improve with my daughter. What do you think? — Seeking acceptance in California

For everyone looking in, it’s not acceptable for your friend’s daughter to disrespect the woman he’s seeing. The issue lies in his letting that happen, surrendering his authority to someone who seems emotionally immature and resistant to his happiness.

It might be wise to give him a timeline to decide how he wants to spend his vacation. If you’re not together during that time, perhaps consider a vacation of your own. Additionally, it would be prudent to pause on moving in together until he addresses this family dynamic, hopefully with the guidance of a qualified mental health professional.