Today marks the 41st anniversary of Susan and me together. I can’t quite convey the depth of my love for her or how privileged I feel to call her my wife. Over these years, we’ve planted a church and raised four children, who in turn blessed us with 16 grandchildren. The church, too, has given us countless spiritual descendants.
We are truly fortunate.
There were times when the thought of heaven made me melancholy, largely because of Susan. I realized there would be no marriage in heaven (Matthew 22:30), which means that earthly marriage is a temporary bond that dissolves with death. It struck me deeply, reminiscent of how John Wesley described his friend George Whitefield.
For context, Wesley and Whitefield were college friends at Oxford, both called to full-time ministry. They started off following parallel paths, enjoying fame through large outdoor gatherings. It was actually Whitefield who urged Wesley to embrace outdoor preaching.
Eventually, their beliefs diverged—Wesley leaned Arminian, while Whitefield was more Calvinist. Despite their differences, their friendship remained warm and supportive, even through theological disagreements.
After Whitefield passed away, someone asked Wesley if he believed he would see his old friend in heaven. The questioner probably anticipated a cynical remark or reference to their differences. Instead, Wesley surprised everyone with his response.
“No, [I won’t see him in heaven]…He is so close to the throne of God that people like me will never even get a glimpse of Him!”
Wesley spoke with humor.
I share this because my faith in my wife leads me to similar reflections.
The thought of being separated from her left me feeling quite sad.
However, I gradually realized that simply stating there will be no marriage in heaven oversimplifies things. There are at least two other significant truths that the Bible presents.
First, two become one (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31). Marriage is a unique union created by God. There’s nothing comparable to it, save the union with Christ. The notion that marriage ends with death indicates that it leads to a more profound, everlasting connection with God.
Second, while marriage may not exist in heaven, there will still be recognition and relationship (Luke 16:19-31). The Bible assures us there will be reunions in heaven (1 Thessalonians 4:17). We will recognize and reconnect with each other, and the love of Christ will unite us even more deeply.
So, what does this mean for those united in marriage through Christ? Well, no one can say for sure, except that we won’t enter into new marriages there.
Yet, we can suggest various possibilities.
The love cultivated in this life will endure. There is nothing in the scriptures that suggests earthly relationships will be forgotten or discarded.
That love will be transformed and elevated by a greater love. Marriage on Earth has always pointed toward the relationship between Christ and His church.
Therefore, earthly marriages will indeed be valued and acknowledged in heaven. We will continue to know and love our spouses, but that love will evolve to be even more profound in the context of eternity.
Susan might be closer to God’s throne than I am, but I will still meet her. We will see each other again, and that shared moment will be unique to us.
In a complete state, that single moment will be enough. It will represent the deepest love we’ve ever known.
Happy anniversary, my dear.
Though 41 years have passed…
…it feels like forever.
