Dear Abby: A Mixed Bag of Family Dynamics

I’ve been married to my husband for 35 years now, and I thought things were good between us. Recently, my mother-in-law updated her will, intending to leave all her assets to him. If he happens to pass away before her, then it will go to her three adult children. However, she was asked to name beneficiaries in case all four of them die first, which seems unlikely. The twist? She has no other living relatives—no parents, siblings, or even distant cousins.

Instead of including me, she named several friends and neighbors as beneficiaries. One of these is a neighbor who lives right next door. She often drives my mother-in-law—who doesn’t drive herself—to appointments and errands since we live quite a distance away, about three and a half hours.

I always thought my relationship with her was strong. My husband and I often send her flowers and thoughtful gifts for special occasions. I help her out with various tasks, especially when her health is a concern. So, it stings a bit to feel overlooked. Am I being petty or irrational for feeling upset about what’s missing from her will? — Hurt in Colorado

Dear Hurt: Your feelings are totally valid. While it might seem like an oversight, it’s understandable to feel upset. Have you talked to your husband about it? Maybe he should ask his mom if she unintentionally overlooked you during the will process.

Noise Complaint Dilemma

In another scenario, I’m an elderly woman with knee pain, and I recently bought a ground-floor apartment. Otherwise, I think I’d have opted for a second-floor unit in this two-story building. I only stay here part-time since my husband hasn’t retired yet.

The upstairs neighbor has two kids who, honestly, are quite rambunctious. They jump off their kitchen counter often, sometimes even until late at night, causing everything in my kitchen to rattle. I reached out to the property management, and they said they’d consider sending violation notices. But since I’m not here full-time, I’m worried about potential retaliation, like vandalism to my car or worse. The neighbor would likely be the suspect, but with no solid proof, it’s tricky.

I can’t afford to move to a more expensive community. In an effort to foster good relations, my husband and I knocked on her door to introduce ourselves, but she didn’t really engage. What would you do in my situation? — I Hear Noise to the South

Dear Noise Concerned: If I were you, I’d knock on her door again, explain the noise issue, and kindly ask her to talk to her kids about it. It’s really hard to enjoy your home with that level of disturbance. If she’s uncooperative, returning to the property manager might be necessary. And if the situation doesn’t improve, you may need to consider contacting Child Protective Services. What the kids are doing isn’t just annoying; it’s unsafe, and it seems the parents need to step up.