Dear Abby: My son “Logan” is the result of a traumatic situation. He reached out to his father and developed a bond with him without knowing the circumstances of my pregnancy when that happened. Now, Logan understands what transpired in our family.
Logan has invited his father to his wedding, and if he’s going to be there, I don’t think I can go. Logan insists this man will definitely attend, and it feels like I’m the one with the problem. I deeply care for my son, but this is truly painful for me. I want to support him on his special day, yet being in the same space as the person who hurt me is just too much.
This whole situation is heartbreaking. I fear that my feelings don’t matter to Logan; it seems like he expects me to just move past it and be at the wedding. What’s your take on this? — worst case scenario
Dear worst case scenario: It’s alarming how insensitive your son is being toward your feelings. It’s completely unacceptable for him to disregard that you are a survivor of assault and to expect you to be near your assailant. Whatever choice you make next is valid and should reflect what you need. I’m so sorry for your pain.
Dear Abby: I work in an environment full of women who constantly have drama in their lives. It seems there’s always something weighing them down—jobs, home issues, family, and even pets. Initially, I listened and offered sympathy, but I’ve come to realize how draining all this negativity is for my own mental health.
I’ve tried to move past her while working, but she just follows me. If I attempt to start work before her, she shows up early. Whenever I mention I need to focus on a task, she continues to talk. I’d like to create some distance, but she’s a decent person, and I don’t want to come off as dismissive. Any advice? — I’m running out of patience
Dear runners: It’s time to stop being overly accommodating and let this coworker know you can’t continue to be her emotional dumping ground. Next time she approaches you, directly say that her behavior is harming your productivity and draining your energy. Set a clear boundary. If she doesn’t respect that, consider bringing this matter to your supervisor or HR.
To all readers: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. No Thanksgiving feels complete without sharing a special prayer from my late mother.
Oh Heavenly Father,
We thank you for providing for us and remember those who are less fortunate.
We thank you for our health and recall those who are suffering.
We appreciate our friends and remember those who are lonely.
We are grateful for our freedom and remain mindful of those who are not.
May these reflections inspire service to others.
May we use our blessings for the good of all.
Amen.
Wishing all a joyful and safe celebration! — Love, Abby
