Dear Abby: Cat-Sitting Concerns

I recently asked a friend to watch my kitten while I was away for a few days. We agreed she would feed him, give him water, and spend some time with him each day.

However, when I returned, it seemed like she hadn’t come by at all. The food bowl was untouched, the litter box was in poor condition, and my cat was quite lonely and vocal about it.

I haven’t talked to her yet about this, but I feel hurt and disappointed. I really trusted her with my pet. If I had known she couldn’t commit, I would have made different plans.

I don’t want to assume the worst, but I think I need to address this. How do I talk to her about it without escalating the situation or wrecking our friendship? — Michigan Cat Lady

Dear Cat Lady: It’s concerning to think about what else she might be careless with. However, I don’t think a confrontational approach is the best route.

For future trips, consider making other arrangements for your cat’s care. This friend clearly didn’t take her duties seriously.

Dear Abby: Family Disagreements

I have a brother who holds strong opinions on everything, and I often find myself disagreeing with him. He believes he’s the only one who knows anything, even though he lacks formal education. He thinks he’s smarter than everyone else.

He dominates conversations, sometimes screaming at me, and has insulted me in various ways. Then he tries to prove his points through texts and emails, which feels abusive and, honestly, a bit mentally unstable. He’s achieved very little in life.

My husband and I have careers, and when I try to remain quiet around my brother, he gets angry and demands a reaction from me. My family has started to distance themselves from him. How can I handle this situation and make our family gatherings more civil? — SMART SIS of Mississippi

Dear Sister: There’s no easy fix for dealing with an abusive, immature sibling. The reality is you can’t change him. Focus on preserving your own sanity by avoiding him whenever possible.

Dear Abby: Travel Dilemma

I’ve always wanted to go on an exotic trip. I’m retired now, but my wife is dealing with an illness. She can manage small trips, but an overseas journey would be overwhelming for her.

I’m okay with traveling alone and have been saving up. I don’t want to come off as selfish, but I want to explore places I haven’t been to yet. What’s the right thing to do? — California Future Traveler

Dear Traveler: Luckily, your wife has some independence and can cope while you’re away.

“Fair” would involve having a conversation with her to negotiate a solution that works for both of you. If she’s interested in traveling a bit, consider setting aside some funds for a short trip together and the rest for your solo journey.