Looking back, I feel really thankful for a childhood without smartphones. I can clearly recall when a friend in middle school first got his iPhone. My friends and I were just amazed by the touchscreen—and the games, and the ability to text so quickly. It was hard not to feel a twinge of envy over this gadget he had.
My parents gave me a basic phone when I was about 15, but it wasn’t until I was 17 that I finally got a smartphone. Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing about that experience. Growing up in a pretty isolated suburb, without many kids around, I still found joy in church activities, exploring the woods, getting lost in books, and hanging out with my siblings.
This shape of my early years fuels my interest in today’s digital landscape. I often ponder how different, and perhaps worse, my teenage years could have been if I had less freedom, less independence, and fewer opportunities for face-to-face socializing.
I’ve delved into the topic of social media and its impacts on teen mental health. According to research from Pew, 95 percent of teens have access to a smartphone, and nearly half of them are online “almost constantly,” while just a decade ago, only a quarter reported the same. Most of this screen time is spent on social media like TikTok, Snapchat, YouTube, and Instagram.
Recently, there have been calls from the US Surgeon General to place warning labels on social media similar to those on alcohol and tobacco, specifically targeted at young users. Just this week, Australia said it would ban social media for those under 16. Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation, offers valuable insights for parents and educators.
Even kids are expressing a desire to be free from social media. I’ve pointed out that around half of teens would prefer a world without it but feel trapped by the fear of losing social connections.
But what about younger children? By age eleven, over half (53%) of kids own a smartphone, and the common age for getting one is around twelve, although some kids are reported to receive them as early as four.
While establishing a firm link between social media and mental health issues is challenging, many studies lean toward that conclusion.
Some studies even look at the impact of smartphones in classrooms. For instance, college students performed better when their phones were taken away during class, showing higher comprehension, lower anxiety, and increased mindfulness compared to those who kept theirs. If that’s the case for college students, just think about how much more significant the impact is for younger children.
Younger than twelve: Depression, obesity, and bad sleep
A recent study indicates a connection between smartphone ownership for kids under twelve and various health risks. Analyzing data from over 10,000 children, the findings were strong, though perhaps not surprising.
The researchers concluded that “smartphone ownership was associated with depression, obesity, and insufficient sleep in early adolescence,” offering important insights for caregivers and potential public policy changes.
Dr. Barzilay, the lead researcher, spoke with the NY Times, emphasizing that age makes a difference. “A child at age 12 is very different from a child at age 16,” he said. It’s essential to consider how the risks increase the younger the child is when it comes to smartphone ownership.
Another expert, Dr. Jacqueline Nesi, pointed out that while proving causality is tough, this study should encourage parents to hold off on giving their kids smartphones longer than they might initially feel comfortable with, and not to just follow the crowd.
As discussed further in the article, parents should “trust their instincts” and wait until they and their children are ready to handle the responsibility of smartphone ownership.
If you’re curious about how to engage with this topic and what protective measures to consider, the Anxious Generation website has some resources. Dr. Haidt outlines four core recommendations:
- No smartphones before high school
- No social media before age 16
- Phone-free schools, from start to finish
- Encourage independence and real-world play
The site offers additional resources for parents, schools, and policymakers to consider.
What does the Bible say about parenting and smartphones?
God guides us not as a puppeteer, but as a loving father who disciplines us compassionately. Good parenting reflects these attributes.
Proverbs teaches that discipline stems from love and is aimed at preventing children from becoming spoiled (Proverbs 13:24). There are several verses encouraging children to respect their parents, like “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1).
Yet, parenting also requires reciprocity. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), or as said in Colossians, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (3:21).
So how can we mimic God’s loving approach?
- Offer clear guidance.
- Maintain boundaries.
- Grant independence as trust is earned.
- Prepare them to manage screens when they leave your home.
As God invites us, “come now, let us reason together” (Isaiah 1:18). It’s vital to provide reasoning for decisions when possible and to listen to our children as God listens to us.
Of course, no parent is perfect. Navigating tricky issues like smartphone usage can be complex, with studies sometimes offering unclear or even conflicting insights. We can only strive to do our best.
We can pray for wisdom, grow in understanding, and take our parental role seriously—avoiding a passive approach. The influences of social media tend to draw children away from Christ, and it’s clear that tech companies often prioritize profit over the well-being of young users.
It’s worth reflecting on your own relationship with technology. Do you find yourself overly attached to your phone or social media? What does your screen time say about your priorities? How can you set a better example for your kids?
If pondering these questions feels new to you, or if it’s been some time since you’ve done so, it’s a good place to start. Your heavenly Father loves your kids and desires what’s best for them, just like you. So, be sure to include Him in your discussions.
