Dear Abby: My daughter is making it really difficult for me to have a relationship with my little grandson. It’s always about restrictions. Every time I visit, there are rules: “Don’t bring toys. No more toys. Don’t turn on the TV. Turn that children’s music down. Stay inside because bugs or heat are bad. No milk right now. Forget treats.” It’s just overwhelming since I have to keep asking her if I can do anything. I point out that I buy the toys, and she just insists, “I’m the mom.” It feels almost like a competition. She’s clearly stressed. Can she really do this to my bond with my only grandchild? — Florida Supervised Granny
Dear Grandma: Unfortunately, it sounds like she can. While I don’t know your daughter personally, her need to control how you interact with your grandchild might stem from insecurity—maybe she’s worried he’ll favor you over her. Regardless of her reasons, if you want a relationship with your grandson, you might have to go along with her “house rules.”
Dear Abby: My son is throwing a wedding reception for about 30 guests at his home. It’ll be a sit-down dinner with professional bartenders. What are the expectations for tipping, especially since the company is already charging him a hefty hourly rate for their services? Some think a tip jar is acceptable, while others feel it’s inappropriate to expect extra tipping from family and friends on top of that. I could really use some guidance on this rather awkward situation. — Nevada Already Pays Enough
For those already compensated: Since this is a private reception, and the bartenders are already being paid (no matter the amount), your son will indeed handle the tip separately. I agree with those who believe tip jars would be inappropriate.
Dear Abby: When I bring a dish to a potluck, I think the leftovers should stay with the host unless they offer to let me take some home. Sometimes, there’s so much food that not everything gets eaten. After investing time and money into the dish, it feels wrong to let it go to waste. Is it considered weird, rude, or socially awkward to ask to take home some leftovers if there’s plenty left over? We Hate Waste in Washington
Dear Waste Haters: If there aren’t many contributions to the potluck, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask the host if you can take some leftovers home. Just make sure to offer to leave some behind if they’re interested.
