Dear Abby Letters

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have two kids, and we work night shifts that keep us on opposite schedules, meaning one of us is always home. Recently, my best friend from high school surprised me with concert tickets to our favorite band, but the concert lands on my night with the kids.

With no friends or family nearby to watch the children, I asked my boyfriend if he could take the night off. He replied that I would need to pay him back for his lost wages, which is about $300. Is it fair for him to charge me for watching his own kids? Chaos in New Hampshire

Dear Confused: Do you really need to reimburse your boyfriend for the wages he’d miss if he skips work for the concert? If his job doesn’t allow personal time off, he would indeed be losing money. Since you’re the one changing plans, I think you should cover that cost. Moving forward, it might be wise to discuss a backup plan for caretaking if both of you happen to be unavailable at the same time (though that seems unlikely).

Dear Abby: My wife and I have enjoyed living in our country home for 25 years. When we moved in, our only neighbors were wildlife—wild turkeys, deer, raccoons. Behind us was a vast 20 acres of woods that led to a cornfield. We loved the solitude.

However, housing developments have slowly popped up around us. Last fall, a couple built a house right behind ours, with their deck now just 20 feet from the property line. They chopped down all the lovely mature trees that provided privacy.

For safety reasons, I’ve always had dusk-to-dawn sensor lights at the back of my house to keep raccoons away. Now, these new neighbors are complaining that my security light shines into their bedroom window because their house is too close and the previous trees are gone. They expect me to remove it.

I’ve been here for 25 years with that light. They chose to build their house so close and cut down the trees. I’m not keen on engaging, but I’d love your advice. — Bright Guy from Ohio

Dear Bright Guy: Here’s what you could do: explain to your new neighbors that your security lights are meant to deter both trespassers and wildlife. You might also suggest that they consider blackout curtains or window shutters to block out the light. If that doesn’t resolve the issue and you have a local governing body, you could ask them to step in to mediate.