Dear Abby: Mixed Signals from Mark

Dear Abby: I’m a young gay man facing some issues. I recently met Mark, a really attractive guy with a sweet nature, and we had an amazing time together. We spent two nights at a hotel, but just two days later, he went to church and now believes that being gay is wrong. He still touchingly rubs my legs and kisses me at dinner, telling me he loves me, but I’m confused. Even though he claims that gay relationships are wrong, he sends me nudes on a dating app at night. What do I do? — Mixed traffic lights in Georgia

Dear Mixed Signals: It seems like Mark is wrestling with his feelings about his sexuality, likely feeling guilty due to his church’s teachings. I think it might help if you talk to him about the possibility of seeking counseling to navigate these feelings more comfortably. Atlanta has three LGBTQ community centers that could offer support. If he shows hesitation, realize it might be a lengthy journey for him towards self-acceptance. If you’re not up for waiting, it may be best to move on.

Dear Abby: Concern for a Friend

Dear Abby: We share a mutual friend, a kind disabled veterinarian, but he’s too proud to accept help. His health has declined, and his home is in a terrible state—covered in trash, boxes, unfinished projects, dirty clothes, and even animal waste. The smell can be really bad, especially in the heat.

The last time I visited, I thought I had found a clean spot to sit but ended up smelling like cat urine. Despite our many offers, he hasn’t accepted any assistance with the mess. The condition has gotten so dire that people are starting to avoid visiting.

He recently offered to host a holiday gathering for us, but I doubt anyone would want to go there. I’m also reluctant to eat anything made in that environment. We’ve considered changing our plans but I’m worried it might hurt his feelings since he enjoys being a host. What should I say or do?

Dear Tough Field: Your friend seems to have some hoarding tendencies. While he may love hosting and connecting with people, if they feel uncomfortable going to his home because of the mess, that can’t happen. Those who care for him should gently convey that you love him and suggest that it would be better for everyone if the gathering took place elsewhere. He needs to understand why people are keeping their distance, and he might need both emotional and physical support to address the situation.