Dear Abby: Seeking Guidance on Family Dynamics and Personal Struggles

Dear Abby: I really could use some advice. My brother-in-law is seeing a woman who my husband had a brief relationship with before we got married. Family gatherings have become pretty uncomfortable for me, especially since many in our family seem to think it’s no big deal. I get that it’s in the past, but it’s hard to ignore its presence now. My husband shares my feelings on this.

Should we just avoid these events to keep the peace since she seems to be more accepted? We’ve been married for 37 years—are we overreacting? — Confusion in the East

Dear Confused: I understand where you’re coming from. It’s surprising how a fleeting encounter can turn into a source of tension decades later. Try not to view it as a competition between you and your brother-in-law’s girlfriend. Your husband chose to be with you. That’s what matters. If there’s any embarrassment to be had, it should fall on her, not you.

Dear Abby: I’ve been with my wife “Muriel” for 10 years, married for 7. She’s dedicated to animal rescue and feels she must save every animal she comes across. No matter how often I explain the financial strain and other issues, she just doesn’t seem to understand.

Right now, we have 21 pets living with us. I’ve tried finding a support group for myself, but nothing seems to exist. Even if I found one, I doubt she would admit there’s a problem. Can you offer any insight? — Puzzle in the Midwest

Dear Puzzle: I’ll do my best. Honestly, having 21 animals in one house may not be ideal for anyone involved. Your wife might not listen to reason, so consider reaching out to local animal control to discuss the situation. It’s surprising a neighbor hasn’t brought it up yet. Your wife has good intentions, but those pets might benefit from a higher standard of care than she can provide right now.

Dear Abby: I’ve served as a mail carrier for 36 years, with 25 of those years delivering to retirement communities. Now that I’m retired, it’s painful when I learn that someone I’ve known for years has passed away without me being informed. This seems to happen more frequently lately.

I was their mail carrier, yes, but I was also a friend. I formed bonds with my customers, and their families knew me. It hurts most when the people I was closest to don’t let me know of their passing. I’m not family, but it still stings. After this, they’ll know who they are. I’m not angry, just hurt. Can you relate? — Retired postal worker in Arizona

Dear Mail Lady: Yes, I get it, and I feel for you. However, there’s a chance that the families didn’t reach out because they didn’t have your contact information. It’s possible they were unsure of how to get in touch.