Dear Abby: I work somewhere that requires being friendly to customers, but I think some people misunderstand what that means. I have this tendency to try to “make things work” with others, but I’m not quite sure how to change that. There’s this one colleague who doesn’t seem to get that I’m not interested, and he harasses me constantly. I really need help avoiding these kinds of situations. — Friendly in Massachusetts
Dear All: This situation isn’t your fault at all. Many women in hospitality wear wedding rings as a way to fend off unwanted attention. But when a colleague is involved, that’s different. There are regulations to safeguard everyone in the workplace, which should be outlined in your employee handbook.
It’s crucial to start documenting the inappropriate behavior and inform other female colleagues. If he crosses the line again, tell him explicitly that his actions are harassment and that you will report him to management. If that doesn’t deter him, make sure to follow through. It could have serious repercussions for him.
Dear Abby: I’ve been friends with someone for a long time, and we’ve had a great relationship. But he’s made a series of poor choices recently—no job, no girlfriend, and living in a rundown place. I kept my thoughts to myself for a while, but eventually, I started giving advice in a caring way, hoping he would see that his choices are causing him problems. However, he reacts with anger whenever I try to help. Am I wrong to want to guide my friend toward a better path? — Inside New Jersey’s Dilemma
Dear Dilemma: It seems like your friend might not be ready to hear that he has made some mistakes. Your well-intentioned advice may be falling on deaf ears, so perhaps it’s best to step back and refrain from offering your insights for now.
Dear Abby: My husband and I are both seniors and we got married in 2020. Things started off great, but now I feel like I’m in a nightmare. There’s hardly any conversation, and he doesn’t respond to me. After the first couple of years, he changed completely—he never thanks me for anything or initiates discussions. When I ask him questions, he often doesn’t answer, yet he can chat just fine with others. Is it that he hates me? Should I share my feelings of disappointment with him or just give up? — Fell into Silence
Dear Stuck: You can’t repair something that might not be entirely your fault. However, before jumping to divorce, give your husband an opportunity to help restore your marriage through a certified family therapist. Set up a meeting, and if he refuses to join you, go on your own.
Dear Abby was created by Abigail Van Buren, originally known as Jeanne Phillips, following in her mother Pauline Phillips’ footsteps. For further contact: http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
