Dear Abby

My husband and I, both men, have been together for 28 years. We’re still close and, I thought, in love, though the last few years have felt less romantic.

A few days back, he called me from work (I’m retired), and I was so upset I could barely understand him. I rushed to his office, where he revealed that he had just learned from his doctor that he has AIDS. He then opened up about an affair he had with a contractor he worked with years ago, during a tough time for us. He insists that this was a one-time thing.

I’m heartbroken and devastated as I wait for my HIV test results. What should I do now? I’m really hurt and don’t know if I should stay or leave. — destroyed in Florida

Dear Destroyed,

You need to prioritize getting the best medical care for both you and your husband. Being diagnosed with HIV doesn’t always progress to AIDS, and there are treatments that can slow it down. Whether you stay with him or not is something to think about after you process everything and can think more clearly.

Dear Abby,

My two children are planning weddings just two months apart next year. I’m from the Netherlands, and my entire family is still there. Both kids want to invite relatives, which sounds lovely, but my parents—who are 86 and 87—can only go to one wedding. It’s also financially tough for my siblings and their kids to attend both. They don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but they’re unsure how to handle the situation regarding which wedding to attend.

My son has offered to help cover costs to attend both weddings, but he knows it won’t work for his parents to go to each. What should we do? — Challenge in Idaho

Dear Challenger,

Here’s a thought: Take a step back. It isn’t your job to dictate who goes to which wedding. Send out invitations to everyone, and conversations can follow from there. If financial assistance is needed, your son can help.

If a parent’s health limits their ability to attend both events, they’ll have to decide which to go to. Also, many weddings are livestreamed these days, and photos are often shared online, so they can still feel part of the celebration.

Lunar New Year

To our Asian readers celebrating Lunar New Year: Today marks the beginning of the Year of the Horse. In Asian culture, individuals born in this year are often seen as dynamic, charming, and adventurous. They thrive in lively settings and are regarded as natural leaders. Wishing everyone a healthy, happy, and prosperous new year. Tariho! — Love, Abby