Gail Rudnick and Kim Murstein, the engaging duo behind the popular podcast series Grandma, I’m Sorry, have taken on new roles as advice columnists for the Post.
From complicated family dynamics to friendship issues, finances, relationships, and everything in between, they tackle it all. As natives of New York, they bring various viewpoints to each dilemma and offer some heartfelt, sometimes tough love. It’s likely you’ll find what they say very valuable.
This week, they navigate a situation involving a reader unhappy with her brother’s girlfriend, but things escalate when a concern arises about a reader’s reluctance to have children, putting extra pressure on Kim.
Excuse me, please give me some advice.
I’m not really fond of my brother’s girlfriend, despite trying. What should I do?
Grandma Gail: If you see something that bothers you affecting family relationships, it’s natural to express your thoughts. Ultimately, though, it’s his choice who to love—unless it’s, say, a mass murderer.
Kim: You always give me advice when I’m dating someone, right?
Grandma Gail: That’s because there were clear signs that raised concerns. But you weren’t in a serious relationship.
Kim: If your family has concerns about someone they’re dating, voice that once. After that, keep quiet regardless of how long they’ve been together.
Grandma Gail: Sometimes, people just don’t want to hear it.
Kim: That may be true, but I believe they understand and are choosing whether to remain together. Continually pointing out faults can damage family ties.
Grandma Gail: Family may genuinely wonder, “Is this person good for you long-term?” If you value their opinions, have that discussion. But if you don’t, you’ll probably just follow your own path.
Excuse me, please give me some advice.
It feels like my parents constantly talk about grandchildren, and it stresses me out even more. How do I let my partner know I don’t want kids?
Grandma Gail: That’s quite a dilemma. Parents often want grandchildren, but if you’re truly against it, you need to have a candid conversation with them. Let them know, “This is my choice.” It really comes down to personal preference regarding when—or if—to have children.
Kim: There are plenty of people who don’t want kids.
Grandma Gail: Absolutely.
Kim: So I think—
Grandma Gail: They really should respect that choice.
Kim: I’m almost 30, and while there’s still time, I know you grew up in a different era when you had kids in your 20s.
Grandma Gail: I had two by the time I was 30.
Kim: Times have changed, though. The landscape is much more adaptable now.
Grandma Gail: That’s true.
Kim: I’m not rushing into anything right now.
Grandma Gail: Let’s focus on marriage first, and then we can discuss kids.
Kim: Taking it step by step.
Grandma Gail: One step at a time.
