Dear Abby: I’ve been married for 44 years and always shared a bed with my wife. Recently, I caught a virus, so I started sleeping in the spare room until I got better. Now she seems to sleep better alone and enjoys having the bed to herself. How can I tell her that I’m okay with this change and want to continue sleeping alone? I love her dearly, but I also appreciate my own space at night. — Sleeping Alone in Wisconsin
Dear Sleeping Alone: There are various reasons couples might sleep apart, and it doesn’t indicate a failing marriage. You might consider sharing with your wife how refreshing your experience was in the spare room (you could say something like, “I haven’t slept that well in years”). Good sleep is crucial for health. Then, gently explain that you prefer the extra space at night, but it’s nothing personal.
Be ready for her to reveal that she, too, enjoys sleeping alone. If she isn’t on board, think about the possibility of keeping two beds in the master bedroom to accommodate you both.
Dear Abby: My 71-year-old husband loves to share endless stories about himself to anyone around—family, friends, even strangers. I’m growing increasingly tired of hearing the same tales, and I notice others start to avoid me as he talks. I’ve asked him to limit himself to stories from the last decade, but he doesn’t change. I’m beginning to shy away from social situations with him entirely. — Let’s Stop by California
Dear Let’s Stop: Has your husband always told stories this way, or could this be a sign of cognitive decline? Repeated stories can indicate a struggle with short-term memory. Is it possible he had a fascinating career in the past but now feels at a loss for interesting topics? If he’s just not engaging, consider spending time with friends separately. They will likely appreciate it.
Dear Abby: I live in an independent nursing home, and there’s a woman at our lunch table who constantly interrupts and tries to answer questions before the person addressed can respond. We’ve attempted to confront her, but she just pouts and continues. Whenever we relocate to another table, she follows us. What should we do? — A Spoiled Lunch in Alabama
Dear Spoiled Lunch: Instead of avoiding her, perhaps one of you could have a quiet conversation with her about her behavior. (Is she fully aware of her actions?) Let her know her dominating personality is uncomfortable for others, which is why you’d prefer she sat elsewhere during lunch. Provide examples if needed. Don’t expect her to react positively, but your honesty might help you enjoy lunch more peacefully. If the situation doesn’t improve, consider speaking to the nursing home administrator about it.
