Dear Abby:

My 29-year-old son, “Earl,” has an MBA. He started drinking and using drugs when he was just 16. Earl is very bright and managed to keep his addiction hidden from me. I found out about it just before he went to university, but by then, there wasn’t much I could do. I offered to send him to rehab, but he turned me down.

As a single mother, I’ve tried discussing this with his father, but it didn’t lead anywhere. Earl has since moved to another state, though he visits me every few months. Recently, I’ve noticed a troubling pattern: every time he visits, he buys drugs right before heading to the airport and stashes them in his carry-on. I can’t shake the feeling he might be selling them. While he claims he’s quit marijuana, I can still smell it on him. It’s worrying. What can I do? — powerless in Texas

Dear Helpless Person:

Your concerns are valid. It’s surprising that when Earl’s luggage was scanned at the airport, no drugs were found. Equally surprising is that, despite the marijuana odor, he didn’t encounter any drug-sniffing dogs, which would typically escalate to an arrest. You’re wondering what can be done about this unfortunate situation. The reality is, there isn’t much. Your son is an adult and may need to face the repercussions of his risky choices.

Dear Abby:

I’ve been working at the hospital for ten years now. The occasion is usually celebrated with cake, photos, certificates, and small gifts during a monthly meeting of about 30 managers and directors. This time, however, the meeting came and went without any of that—no cake, no photos, nothing memorable. Right before it concluded, my boss casually mentioned, “By the way, this month marks Janet’s 10th anniversary.” Everyone clapped, and that was it. Clearly, they had forgotten, and only my boss remembered at the last moment.

I approached the person responsible for arranging these celebrations to ask if they had overlooked it. She stammered, making excuses about the CEO being unavailable to sign the certificate, and something about customs duties affecting the gift. I accepted her explanation and returned to my office. Now my boss wants to rectify this. He and the COO are planning a lunch for me and a surprise party with cake that I’m supposedly not meant to know about.

Abby, I honestly just don’t want any of it. It feels like they’re overcompensating after the fact, and I find it a bit embarrassing that I had to prompt them. It’s all water under the bridge now. How do I politely and firmly decline everything? — forgotten birthday girl

Dear Girl:

I hear you. Someone dropped the ball and ended up hurting your feelings. Now your employer is trying to make amends. Look, while it may seem like overcompensation, try to be gracious and let them express their appreciation. You deserve that recognition, even if it feels forced. Refusing could lead to misunderstandings, and it’s not worth holding a grudge just because someone made a mistake.